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A Fungus Among Us
A Gorge of Candy Whistles
A Side of Blog
A state of alarm or dread
Another Holiday Meal
Apple Oaths of Honor
Are you O-fucking-K?
Artificial Intelligence
Bashing Blog Fronts
Biting the Back of PETA
Blog Water Marinade
Breeding The Disease
Cannibalistic Fascism
Curds, tallow and oats
Digesting the Readers
Double Spades Effect
Enraptured Beef Tallow
Everything In Moderation
Flight of the Fancy Pants
Fruity Pebble Massacre
Gathering Storm Clouds
Grim is the Reaper
High Fact Content
Idiot's Parade
If Wishes Were Horsies
Incoherent Laugh Track
Jumpin' Jeepers!
Just Add Sploosh
Like Peeing in a Pod
No Peanutbutter & Jelly
Pennywise & Poundfoolish
Pleonastic Redundancy
Raise the Fist
Rice in the Lemon Butter
Rich In Fatty Soy
Salt Pork on Wry
Seedless Crass Preserves
Shit House Bricks
Shower Tag
Shun not the blog
Sixtysix Soma Ships
Slap Happy Chap Caps
Soggy Blog Bottom
Spastic Plastic
Spleen and Ideal
Sugar On My Elbows
Tabacco Stained Toe Nails
Tepid Predilection
The Mighty Palimpsest
The Pedantic Opus
The Spider's Bollocks
They eat Mallomars
This aint no tree!
Three on a Spike
Tragic Reverie
Undigestable Candy Corn
Weebles SHOULD fall down
What have you to impart?
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deja entendu
Saturday, 16 October 2004
I have no title today for I suck!
Mood:  on fire
Now Playing: The Used-I'm A Fake
Topic: Jumpin' Jeepers!

Playing in my panties!

Today is the day I hit the Red Light District of Houston! But during the day, none of that for me after dark, no way!
I am not afraid of the dark, just what's in it, outside, alone, no form of protection, unless I bludgeon someone with
a Kotex?!!! That would be a something to see! Naw, I gots my cousin goin' with me. It's all happening. She's loud
if nothing else!

So, I had a terrible dream last night about Pinhead. Those freaky twin femme cenobites, and that chatter were in it
and we were at some sort of huge, endless laboratory type wherehouse and Pinhead was slaughtering people one
one until I was the only one left and I freak out and ran, but had no where to go, and I shit you not, I pissed myself.

I could only hope that once I fell back to sleep that my dream would not continue! I was freaked out!! Bad dream!

~Weird Shit for Your Freaky Mind~
? Army Commander Battered Officers With Dildo ?
A Russian army commander has received a two-year suspended sentence after he was found guilty of beating his junior
officers with a dildo. Captain Damir Ilyasov was also stripped of his rank and removed from his post. However, his officers
defended him at his military court hearing saying he only hit them lightly with the black latex baton. Ilyasov was brought to
trial after a soldier, who was himself charged with desertion, told officials he had run away because of nightly beatings from
Ilyasov and his dildo.

? Doctor Says Disorder Makes Patients Have Sex During Sleep ?
An Australian doctor said one of his patients has a disorder that led her to have sex with strangers while she slept. The doctor
tells The Sydney Morning Herald that the middle-aged woman would later have no recollection of her activities. It wasn't until
her partner woke, discovered she was missing from the bedroom, and found her having sex with another man that she dis-
covered what she was doing. The doctor will discuss the case at a meeting this weekend. He told an Australian radio station
that "people are often stunned and overwhelmed" when they find out what's been happening. He worries that people might be
inhibited to seek professional help for the disorder because of the embarrassment and fear that partners and doctors won't
believe that they were asleep. [Submitted by ChristOnASpike]

Maybe I should give you a handful of words to use so that we may play nicely together!

  • COPACETIC - Fine, excellent, going just right.
  • ERGOPHOBIA - A fear of work.
  • GARGALESIS - Forceful tickling.
  • JOSSER - One not born to cirus life; an outsider.
  • OROTUND - Speech that is full, round and imposing.
Be extra nice with these words or suffer the irreversible consequences.

MUST I USE A DISCLAIMER? APPARENTLY SO...
NOTE: * I cannot have anyone verbal jumping anyone here at the blog simply because they disagree with their name.
Not everyone in this world is a Christian, and at the same time, not everyone is anti-Christian. Perhaps even some
people do not believe in neither Heaven nor Hell, in which case would not be offended by such statements left in yester-
day's post which had NOTHING to do with the BLOG! Some things are meant to be offensive if for no other reason. So,
let's all just get get along like we're grow'd ups.

========================================================
Saturday, 16 October 2004 - 9:38 AM CDT
Name: Christonaspike
Home Page:
http://groups.msn.com/TheNeedleInMyEye
E-Mail:
Torirocks@msn.com

I AIN'T LOUD!!!
Hmm scarier than my tornado dreams. LMFAO he beat people with a dildo!!
All should go copacetic today in my life. Hey what song is that word in, copacetic.....meh, i don't know, but it was
one of those 90's rock songs.
I had to slap Nick the other day for gargalesis.
*GASP* it was my name huh? just because i love benji madden......

========================================================
punksoup sings the hits of William Shatner:
The song you are thinking of is by a band called Local H and the song is called "Bound for the Floor"
I totally loved that song back in the day, it was released in 1996 while I was living in Denver. Funny
how something so trivial could spark such vast memories! Born to be down!

And yes, Skiz, YOU ARE LOUD!
========================================================
Saturday, 16 October 2004 - 1:38 PM CDT
Name: X

Naaaaaaaaaaahhhh....I wasn't verbal jumping....it was more like playful banter with a side dish of steaming hot sarcasm.

Benji is beautiful and were I 10 years younger I would be all up in/over/under that!

(Everyone in the world SHOULD be Christian!! HAH!! HAH HAH!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!)

========================================================
Saturday, 16 October 2004 - 11:38 PM CDT
Name: X

Why doesn't my "TAB" key work when I'm on the post a comment page? FIX IT!!

Ok...sooooo tell us how your day went in the Red Light District or did you even make it there? ========================================================
Sunday, October 17, 2004 10:41 AM CDT
Name: Christonaspike
Home Page:
http://groups.msn.com/TheNeedleInMyEye
E-Mail:
Torirocks@msn.com

it was fun at the magick cauldron!! weee for incents
========================================================
Sunday, October 17, 2004 4:01 PM CDT
Name: taquito
E-Mail:
taquito3217@sbcglobal.net

good blog today sorry i couldn't asnwer yesterdays blog for i was absent from home to do work which i
am sore from today well anyways the only sentence i can make from the vocabulary is i like to hang out
with my friends so i can floit myself which is very fun . (i don't think i used the word right)

-the mexican-
========================================================
punksoup concures:

thank you for your endless encouragement, moses! like a pep talk after a losing game! LOL! Really, though,
thanks!

========================================================
Monday, October 18, 2004 12:18 PM CDT
Name: jfkhaos
E-Mail: theghostofjfkhaos@hotmail.com

Sorry it has taken me so long to respond.  I can't say that I love Pinhead, but your dream and the accompanying
pictures on the blog have made me want to see it again.  I read the description of the original movie Friday evening
and must say i was intrigued by what I read...but then again when shall I watch it except when my lover is asleep,
and more prone to nightmares and such?

My copacetic life as a josser, orotund with a hint of ergophobia, forced me to relieve my tensions through the practice
of garaglesis.



Posted by punksoup at 8:17 AM CDT
Updated: Tuesday, 19 October 2004 8:15 AM CDT
Friday, 15 October 2004
Boondoggled Blog Fog
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: The Dubliners-No Nay Never
Topic: The Mighty Palimpsest


"We cant stop here, this is bat country!" ~Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas

Ah! Friday?!?! Yes! Let's break down the meaning of Friday, because some people get way too excited and
I need to know the science of why that is! I will break it apart first, and find the roots and where it comes
from because maybe you do not know where it comes from and what little "happy molecule" it possesses.
Oh, yeah, be the way... It's another awesome day outside! Kick Ass!

? Bats always turn left when exiting a cave! ?

Ok, I totally expected conflicting information regarding the origin of the name Friday. This is what I found:
Friday: from Frigg the Norse goddess of love. She was believed to be the wife of Odin and was the goddess
of marriage and the hearth. The Roman's had named this day for their goddess of beauty, Venus. They called
it "dies veneris". When the Germanic tribes invaded England they imposed their goddess upon the day meant
to honor Venus. The day was called frigedaeg, it has been corrupted over the centuries (since the 500's) to
be "Friday". So, I suppose then, the "happy molecule" (mostly a Western Civilization thing,) we experience at
the end of work and school on Friday rejoices the weekend break. Not all civilizations work this way. So, then
perhaps in the middle-east, the expression is "Thank Ala it's Saturday" being the last day of the week and time
for rest. Am I wrong?

Ha! The whole "Thank Gandalf it's Frodo," uh, yeah. Here: The expression, "Thank God It's Friday," coined in
1978, was the name of an average movie about an average Friday. The expression had never been used be-
fore this movie. Awesome! Another Hollywood invention.

? It is estimated that millions of trees in the world are accidentally planted by squirrels who bury nuts and then
forget where they hid them!
?

+Funky Vocabulary+

  • CACOGRAPHY - Bad handwriting or bad spelling.
  • DROOGISH - Relating to the nature or attitudes of a member of a street gang.
  • FRIGORIFIC - Causing cold; chilling.
  • GOBBLEDYGOOK - Unintelligible language, especially jargon.
  • GROK - To understand something intuitively or by empathy.
  • HONORIFICABILITUDINITATIBUS - With honour.
  • SPONDULICKS - Money, cash.
  • SNOLLYGOSTER - A shrewd, unprincipled person, especially a politician.

Them's learnin' words! I have a feeling that one could create an entire paragraph with them.

Gross facts? Maybe a couple. Just to keep the anorexic population in check, for you will lose your appetite!

  • The most horrible drink to be considered a beverage and safely consumed is Khoona. It is ingested by
    Afghani tribesmen on their wedding night and consists of a small amount of still-warm very recently
    attained bull semen. It is believed to be a potent aphrodisiac (makes you fell sexy/randy).
  • Marilyn Monroe's famous breasts were somehow destroyed during her autopsy, and a makeup artist
    had to create artificial breasts for her when preparing her for burial. Presumably her other parts were
    intact, including her six toes on one foot.
  • Novelist Sir Walter Scott somehow obtained a stolen cervical vertebra of King Charles I. He used it as
    a salt cellar, no doubt shaking up some of his famous guests, such as Queen Victoria.
  • Many children can vomit at will, and some child psychologists say the best way to stop a child from doing
    this for attention is to make the child eat it afterward.

? Ernest Vincent Wright wrote a novel, "Gadsby", which contains over 50,000 words... None of them with them letter E! ?

ChristOnASpike offers this to the blog:

Lyrics for the soundtrack of Willy Wonka.

The image comes from tarot.com and was sent to me by her as a greeting card :) , mostly so she could earn a few Karma Coins. It's very thoughtful and she wanted the pic to be posted.

Thank You!

Have a great Friday and check yourself in the mirror. Smile and say, "Damn! You look droogish!" Over and out.

========================================================
Friday, 15 October 2004 - 9:14 AM CDT
Name: Christonaspike
Home Page: http://groups.msn.com/TheNeedleInMyEye
E-Mail: Torirocks@msn.com

"It's no ney never, no ney never no how, will i play the white rover, no never no how"
Bats aren't ambi-turners.
Gott sei dank, es ist Fritag!

Joel believes he is droogish. And he runs around being named over his spondulicks, using his gobbledygook.
I didn't know marylin monroe has 6 toes, lmao. So much for being the perfect woman.
You are welcome! We both benefit, lol. Oompa loopa doopedy doo!
========================================================
Friday, October 15, 2004 3:12 PM CDT
Name: taquito
E-Mail:
taquito3217@sbcglobal.net

good afternoon and welcome to jesus's reply:  I realized that me and my friends at school all look droogish and also
that i have cacography writing and thats all for today well avoir -the mexican-

========================================================
Saturday, October 16, 2004 12:02 AM CDT
Name: X
Homepage:
http://x@theowl.com.org.net.edu.gov.dot

I wonder...does "Christonaspike" want to see Christ on a spike or thinks he was crucified on a spike or would person-
ally like to put Christ on a spike? I wonder what she'll say if God sends to her to hell for using the name "Christonaspike"
and her punishment ends up being impaled on a spike over and over and over and over for all eternity (that's a really
"thuper" long time).

"Christonaspike" appears to resemble a snollygoster of the worst sort!

========================================================
Saturday, 16 October 2004 - 8:04 AM CDT
Name: Dead Fish, Stale Bread
Home Page:
http://www.losingmyreligion.com/
E-Mail:
http://www.losingmyreligion.com/

Wait a minute. People are actually being asshole christians here? I always knew there were the good ones and the bad
ones but straight up assholes? What kind of person are you who would verbally assault someone like that? Do you know
that person or are you just finding somewhere to place your Holy Christlike pedistal? Geez, come down, get off your f*****g
cross. Live and let live, have you ever heard that before? Do I need to point you in the right direction of a bible? The Gideons
have placed them in most unexpected places!

“I do not feel obliged to believe that same God who endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect had intended for us to
forgo their use.”

- Galileo

========================================================
Saturday, 16 October 2004 - 1:50 PM CDT
Name: X

Dead Fish:
Yeah I know the person I was sparring with (for oh say 16 years or so) and my words were not as malicious as you suppose.
I was laughing when I wrote it knowing that the person I was "attacking" would laugh as well.
Be mindful of your name calling my young Padawan learner.

If I have offended her then I apologize to HER and will continue to pray for her eternal soul! >;o)



Posted by punksoup at 8:22 AM CDT
Updated: Sunday, 17 October 2004 6:47 AM CDT
Thursday, 14 October 2004
A Schadenfreudic Touchstone of Intoxication
Mood:  mischievious
Now Playing: Dalis Car-Create And Melt
Topic: Idiot's Parade

Sneaky little hobbitses. Wicked, tricksy, false!

Happy Thursday! I see some of you are wearing yellow, STHUPER! (As in Super, with a homo-type lisp "sthuper".) It
looksth awsthome on you! (There is a reason for this. But I will explain later.) Let's review the answers to yesterday's
Almost All True Quiz!

Almost All True: (a), (b) and (c) are true. Which means (d) is FALSE. They all sounded a little far fetched, and I, myself
did not know the answer until last night and thought it was probably (a).

Is it animal cruelty to dye your poodle? I think it is particularly cruel just to be a poodle. They are
permed rats, thats's what they are. Nasty little dogs, always bearing their teeth and yapping at people.
Anyway, I was in the beauty supply store Monday and there was an older lady inquiring about which
would be the best dye to use to make her dog purple. I did find myself laughing but when I realized
this lady was all to serious, I told her which dye to use so as not to harm her evil little critter. So, is
that animal cruelty? Imagine if you will, not a poodle quite as large as this, but a poodle nonetheless.

I was just wondering. So would you dye your pet? Dog, cat, rat, whatever the pet is, or do you think
that it is just wrong?

I am not sure how I am to believe this story, but it is allegedly true:

McDonald's franchisees in Cape Girardeau, Mo., Brainerd, Minn., and Norwood, Mass., recently began outsourcing
their drive-thru order-taking to a call center in Colorado Springs, Colo. Thus, a Big Mac order shouted into a micro-
phone in Missouri gets typed into a computer in Colorado (and a digital photograph of the customer's car is taken
in order to reduce errors) and then clicked back to the originating restaurant's kitchen, which has the order ready
in less time (30 seconds less, on average, with fewer errors) than the average McDonald's takes.
[International Herald Tribune-New York Times, 7-19-04]

? In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world's nuclear weapons combined. ?

The Meaning of Color:
RED
In Russia, red means beautiful. The Bolsheviks used a red flag as their symbol when they overthrew the Tsar in 1917. That is
how red became the color of communism.

GREEN
In the highlands of Scotland, people wore green as a mark of honor.

BLUE
Blue was used as protection against witches, who supposedly dislike the color. (I hate the color, myself)

PURPLE
In Thailand, purple is worn by a widow mourning her husband's death.

YELLOW
It is said that homosexuals wear yellow on Thursday as a silent way to indentify one another. But here is a fact and not a myth:
In tenth-century France, the doors of traitors and criminals were painted yellow.

WHITE
The ancient Persians believed all gods wore white. (Don't they?)

BLACK
In China, black is for little boys. Blue is for little girls. (I thought pink was for boys in China.)

? In the United States Pine Street is the most common street name - not Main St. ?

Vocabulary? Why? Then we will cover some grammar from The Lord of the Rings.

  • besotted, v. (1) - made drunk; Merry besotted Pippin with the finest mead.
  • cony, n. - rabbit; Smeagol loves fresh cony for breakfast.
  • durstn't, v. - dare not; Samwise durstn't wake Frodo for he needs his rest.
  • flummoxed,v. - bewildered, disconcerted; Smeagol was flummoxed in his fruitless search of the precious.
  • mead, n. (1) - an alcoholic drink made from honey; Hobbits love mead and merriment.
  • semblance, n. - appearance; The semblance of the Nazgul frightened the hobbits.

Do you think maybe you can use these today without repeating the aformentioned examples?

This ends today's entry. I hope you have learned something even if it means not dying your pets or ordering from a McDonald's
in Brainerd, MN which is 137 miles from Fargo, ND, don'tcha know!?! Oh Gad!

========================================================
Thursday, October 14, 2004 12:37 PM CDT
Name: jfkhaos
E-Mail: theghostofjfkhaos@hotmail.com

Is it "fashion a la mode" to dye your dog the color of your hair? Is this confined to the "55 and over
get a free coffee with their Filet-o-Fish after 10am" crowd? Maybe your experience will start a new
trend.....skinheads can have skinhead dogs....we could patent this.....call that number and find out how!

I found myself besotted by the flummoxed cony; the semblance of his blood to mead made me feel that
I dursn't deny myself the pleasure.
========================================================
Thursday, October 14, 2004 4:30 PM CDT
Name: taquito
E-Mail:
taquito3217@sbcglobal.net

well hello there i was think about how i durstn't smoke for it is a bad habit and i am also flummoxed at
the semblance that adults put on when they smoke thereby making their children think smokin is an ok
habit. don't know if it sounds good but it does for me. adios -the mexican-

========================================================
Thursday, October 14, 2004 5:51 PM CDT
Name: VM
E-Mail:
vm7573@hotmail.com

http://www.angrynakedpat.com/andymilonakis.com/crispy.wmv
lol

========================================================
Thursday, October 14, 2004 8:39 PM CDT
Name: ChristOnASpike
E-Mail:
torirocks@msn.com

Yay for animal rights! he same day that I began a petition for the students right to choose whether to disect
or not, and not be puniched for ethical or religious believes. So, If your dog freaks out, don't dye him that is
just mean damnit, and their skin is much more sensitive to chemicals than our is.

HHMMMM WORDS! I besotted me dog one time on accident. Cony are for eating all your lettuce and hopping
away like nothing happened. I would never drink mead, I don't want that made out of honey crap. I flummoxed
many people today with Sadie.

========================================================
Thursday, October 14, 2004 9:12 PM CDT
Name: X or Macrae or whatever...I cant re
E-Mail:
macrae85@hotmail.com

Gee golly, I thought everyone who was anyone dyed their doggies! Hmmmm.....our little dog Frodo would look
nice with a blue mohawk.

This just in: Hewitt Associates in The Woodlands, TX will now be taking all drive-thru calls for Jack in the Boxes in
Tennessee, Vermont, Washington and Puerto Rico.



Posted by punksoup at 8:00 AM CDT
Updated: Friday, 15 October 2004 8:35 AM CDT
Wednesday, 13 October 2004
Spats of Glee and Sausage Casings
Mood:  d'oh
Now Playing: Dead Can Dance-Black Sun
Topic: Like Peeing in a Pod

It's just a blog. Don't be scared!

Whoa! It's Hump Day again! That means the week is nearly through and heck, the month is going to be half
over by the end of this week. Where has the time gone? You know how when you're a kid, time drags and
drags on? Well DAMN, now that I am not waiting to be "out of school" or "grown up" any more, time will NOT
slow down. I hate that! Well, I do but I don't. The years goes by a little slower in the beginning months, but
it seems that after September, the years goes faster then a pack of whippet bitches!

I am getting this entry together rather slowly today. It has been that way for a few weeks now. It is only for
this reason: I have to keep you all on your toes! I can't take this blog back to Kindergarten, so finding new &
interesting things on a daily basis is my only priority! Let's blog, shall we?

? A 10-year-old Komodo dragon in heat accidentally plunged to her death off a wall in the London Zoo trying to
get to her mate. ?

Almost All True
Three of these four things really happened, just recently. Are you cynical enough to figure out the made-up story?

(a) A judge in California told juror-candidates that if they were embarrassed to admit that they couldn't be fair, just
to make up another excuse, and he'd let them go.

(b) Australia's tax agency signed up as a sponsor of this year's awards pageant for the country's pornography and
prostitution industry.

(c) The insurer Lloyd's of London wrote a policy on a male model that would pay off if accident or illness caused him to
lose 85 percent of his chest hair.

(d) A court in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, approved the forcible implanting of a radio frequency identification tag in the arms
of a man's two wives so he can monitor their whereabouts.

Vulgar Vocabulary in Foreign Languages

  • sitzpinkler [german] (sit-speen-kler), n. - literally, a man who sits to urinate
  • Technicolor yawn [australian], v. - vomit
  • Piss in the Beds [irish], n. - dandelions
  • Monkey Bath [english, u.k.] adj. - a bath that is far to hot.
  • Nancy [russian], n. - a gay man
  • fututi gura! [romanian] (fu-tu goo-rah) exp. - fuck you!

Don't let that get you into trouble!

? The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's
head off. ?

There is no reason as to why this is so funny, but I urge you to look at it. I laughed!

Now for something you can learn from.

  • Misspell is the most commonly misspelled word.
  • The circular saw was invented by a woman, Tabitha Babbitt in 1812.
  • Bar codes were created by Monarch Marking, U.S. in 1970 and first appeared on Wrigley's? gum.

That is all. There is no more. Be like sponges and absorb some knowledge today!


========================================================
Wednesday, October 13, 2004 5:23 PM CDT
Name: jfkhaos
E-Mail:
theghostofjfkhaos@hotmail.com

Almost all true...that's a hard one as I think they all of them are quite possible, but unfortunately I haven't come
across any of these news stories, so I have to guess and take my chances. Therefore, fanfare please, I believe
the false one to be letter A...wait....letter D...okay my final answer, more than likely incorrect, is letter B. My
friend, a bonafide sitzpinkler, who donated a Technicolor yawn to his monkey bath, turned out to be a Nancy who
was quite popular with the local crowd for asking people if he could fututi gura! I knew the word misspell was
mispelled. A ha...did you catch that typo? Over and out, blogmistress!

========================================================
Wednesday, October 13, 2004 3:35 PM CDT
Name: taquito
E-Mail:
taquito3217@sbcglobal.net

good blog today i like the vocabulary words today they were good and for the sentences that were false i pick (a)
to be false well good day today

========================================================
Wednesday, October 13, 2004 7:16 PM CDT
Name: ChristOnASpike
E-Mail:
torirocks@msn.com

ok i think the first one isn't true because it makes no sense to me what-so-ever.
LMAO, sitzpinkler, ahahaha, "darf ich pinkle gehen?" pinkle is such a childish word its like teetee.
Hmm funny cause the babies eat the male praying mantis. That would suck if people had to do that, I am going no
further on that thought.



Posted by punksoup at 11:21 AM CDT
Updated: Thursday, 14 October 2004 5:43 AM CDT
Tuesday, 12 October 2004
Sprayed by the Rancid Musk of Regret
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: The Creatures-Morrina
Topic: The Spider's Bollocks

Funnier than a drunken Hobbit!

The first cold day of the season and I love it. I actually got to wear my hoody for warmth and not fashion!
If only it would stay this lovely all day long. But I know it shant. I want to send a big "JOOP" for those of
you who think it's most yummy to smell like rotting vanilla.

Here are some crazy facts that may make you laugh, cry or just plain nauseous.

  • The mad, nineteenth-century French poet Gerard de Nerval, could occasionally be seen taking a
    lobster for a walk on the end of a length of ribbon. After being institutionalized eight times he was
    discovered dead, hanging from a Paris lamp post in 1855.
  • In 1968 Communist party leader Chairman Mao Tse-Tung banned "The Sound of Music" in China
    because it was a blatant example of capitalist pornography.
  • In 1993 a police raid on the A-1 Massage Studio in Oregon, uncovered a masturbation service that
    was offered by two sisters, aged 70 and 73.
  • Pope John Paul II (1467-1471) allegedly died of a heart attack while being sodomized by a page boy.
  • Henry VIII employed a Groom of the Stool, who was required to wipe the royal anus.
  • *More recently, a 67 year old Romanian man claims he accidentally cut off his penis thinking it was a
    noisy chicken keeping him awake. Upon discovering what he had done, he fed it to the dog. (* story
    submitted by jfkhaos)

Graveyard Shift: The reason we say it
Every industry that operates around the clock has a graveyard shift. Some persons who punch a clock
at odd hours think their time of work has some sort of connection with burial places/ But the true origin
is not quite so obvious.

Any thick liquid was called gravy for a long, long time. Only special kinds of gravy went on the table.
"Humour running from the eyes" caused some people to be called "gravy-eyed." In addition to disease,
late vigils in bed led to bleary eyes. Sailors who had the watch that started at midnight were often seen
gravy-eyed before they went off duty. That led them to speak of the middle watch as the "gravy-eyed
shift." Landlubbers who heard the expression didn't fully understand it. Aided by superstitions about the
cemeteries, the sea-born label bacame the graveyard shift in industry.

*And I can totally understand if people on the east coast mistook "gravy-eyed" for "graveyard." So put
on your best New England accent and say it aloud, "Grave-yod."

Stranded in Vocabulary Land?

  • casselanaire, n., v. - pipe dream, fanciful creation
  • darkling, n. - one who is depressed or chronically melancholy
  • flamanous, adj. - provocative, inflammatory
  • hyponious, adj. - given to flights of imagination
  • nacilious, adj. - of or pertaining to an adult who uses baby talk

I hope you can find use for those. Don't just throw them away. Keep them and make spit balls out of them.

This Day in History
1492 Christopher Columbus and his crew land in the Bahamas. (Not America at all, is it?)
1609 The song "Three Blind Mice" is published in London, believed to be the earliest printed secular song.
1872 Apache leader Cochise signs a peace treaty with General Howard in Arizona Territory.
1933 Alcatraz Island is made a federal maximum security prison.

You think we're free? Read and learn, my friend. Read and learn.
I have a disclaimer for this: These are not MY opinions. These are random facts found in random places.
Wherever you stand politically is your business. Everyone will more than likely have an opinion on this
issue, so share it. Remember, this is a look at what rights other citizens of other countries have.

? Iraq under Hussein is freer than America: Universal gun ownership, no crime and low taxes made Iraq more
American than America. (I think this one has a lot to be reasoned with.)
? Many examples of Japan's national freedoms can be found here.

I will continue this quest throughout the day so that I may post this entry in a timely fashion. It has taken me a
little more than an hour to collect just the two examples.

Put that in your pipe and smoke it!

========================================================
Tuesday, October 12, 2004 11:59 AM CDT
Name: jfkhaos
E-Mail:
theghostofjfkhaos@hotmail.com

I am going to reply through email because obviously my last post, posted through "post your comment", did
not post, so I show no post, and I did post...really I did. The whole thing about the A-1 Massage Studio is just
geriatrically disgusting.....eeew makes you cringe in horror to imagine some old woman doing that to someone,
like, lets say, Steve Buscemi. UG!

All of you nacilious people out there, you know who you are (subliminal christonaspike...OOH BOOYAH) need to
stop talking like that...."does mama's itsy bitsy teeny weeny widdle puppy need to go ni-ni? her is cute, yes'm i
s" God what the hell is that? There is a reason for evolution, people, let's prove it and use it instead of reversion.

Okay...I do not agree with the freedom issues....I won't elaborate as that will turn viewers of this post, which grows
ever longer, but I will say this. Any country with a dictator is not free not matter what they can do...but then again
what is the US? As for Japan, the Japanese are brought up with more respect for their surroundings, and beautiful
behavior produces more "freedom". Whatever...I'm out.

========================================================
Tuesday, October 12, 2004 7:30 PM CDT
Name: ChristOnASpike
E-Mail:
torirocks@msn.com

It was really cold two days ago, brrr. Its so niiiiice!
And really if you look at it, noone is free as long as they are being kept by rules that aren't made by
themselves, sigh. OK I have a word for you: ologopoly - a market structure in which few large firms
dominate a market

have a nice day :)

========================================================
Tuesday, October 12, 2004 9:29 PM CDT
Name: taquito
E-Mail:
taquito3217@sbcglobal.net

good blog this fine day i like the nice weather and i was thinking on darkling people while readin the word.



Posted by punksoup at 8:44 AM CDT
Updated: Thursday, 14 October 2004 5:43 AM CDT
Monday, 11 October 2004
A Symphonic Dream Sequence of Muttering Popes
Mood:  rushed
Now Playing: Crass-Darling
Topic: Spastic Plastic

With the pricking of my thumb, something wicked this way comes.

Columbus Day? What the hell for? He did not "discover" America. He simply misplaced himself and called
it India then had the privledge of naming this plot. Why does he get so much props? WHY!?! What about the
real history? What about the countless times this place was "discovered" before Columbus? Why can't they
just rewrite the books? It's not like they haven't been rewrting our history books for years now, anyway.
Columbus Day my ass. It's a secondary excuse for teachers, bankers and other forms of nematodes to get
the day off. Not that teachers are nematodes, unless they are, but I wouldn't put them in the "parasite" cate-
gorey just yet.

? All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill. ?

Ok, the MENSA challenge for yesterday was a bit difficult but that was the point! So, here is the answer:

The fact that there were no "e"s in the paragraph was the unusual thing about it since "e" is the
most commonly used letter.

LOSERS.

I think I am out of crap to share today. I have been hammering away at this for 2 ? hours now and I have
nothing of interest to share.

This is where I sit and stare at the monitor until something comes to mind.

PERFECT! Pre-Columbian Menu and other curiousities.

During the lifetimes of ancient folk, tobacco didn't exist in Egypt, cocoa had never been seen in Rome,
and pigs didn't live in Mexico. In fact, many of the plants and animals that cover the globe today weren't
widespread until the voyages of Columbus redrew the ecological map of the world.

Before 1492, no Englishman ever ate corn (they may not eat it now, either, it's food for the pigs!) No Native
American rode a horse. There were no wheat fields waving across the Great Plains, and you could not get
your Italian aunt's recipe for tomato sauce because no one in Italy had ever seen a tomato. There were
no bananas in Gautemala, oranges in Florida nor peaches in Georgia. Nor were there potatoes in England.

Columbus's voyages of discovery created traffic in the Atlantic. Explorers conquistadors, missionaries and
settlers moved back and forth between the New World and the Old, with plants and animals and brought
back what they found in the Americas. They brought the plagues and diseases they left in the New World. Sad
but true. The Native Americans had never experienced disease before the savages of the "white man."

Assimilate that nugget of wisdom and remember who your daddy is!

========================================================
Monday, 11 October 2004 - 4:10 PM CDT
Name: Christonaspike
Home Page:
http://groups.msn.com/TheNeedleInMyEye
E-Mail:
Torirocks@msn.com

Dude that whole $5 thing, I just discovered that the other day when I was bored, and I agree, this Columbus
Day thing is stupid. Kill all the white man!

========================================================
Monday, October 11, 2004 8:19 PM CDT
Name: taquito
E-Mail:
taquito3217@sbcglobal.net

nice blog today not the usual informative one but a good one none the less well avoir (bye)
-the mexican-



Posted by punksoup at 10:45 AM CDT
Updated: Tuesday, 12 October 2004 9:12 AM CDT
Sunday, 10 October 2004
Ascetic Existence of Incessant Persistence
Now Playing: Siouxsie & The Banshees-Overground
Topic: Pleonastic Redundancy

Much more than this, I did it my way...

Tomorrow brings the [26th] anniversary of the last night Sid and Nancy would spend together. Some say
she was murdered by Sid, I say she had a death wish and begged for her demise. To each their own, right?
After all, he loved her more than heroin.

Hi, hello, how are you this morning/day/afternoon? All is quite right as rain here. I slept a bit later than usual,
found my coffee to be patiently waiting for me when I woke and didn't feel 62 years old! That's an awesome
bonus for me! The weather is, once again, as perfect as can be expected for October in TX, not hot, no sun,
the absence of summer is alright to me!

? Seven suicides are recorded in the Bible. ?

I must give you something interesting to ponder for today. I know, let's cover a few superstitions.

  • It is bad luck to light three cigarettes with the same match. "Three on a match, that's a goocher!"
  • If you have 13 letters in your name, you will have the devil's luck . Jack the Ripper, Charles Manson,
    Jeffrey Dahmer, Theodore Bundy and Albert De Salvo all have 13 letters in their names. (I do too!)
  • If a mirror in the house falls and breaks by itself, someone in the house will die soon.
  • If you bite your tongue while eating, it is because you have recently told a lie.
  • If you use the same pencil to take a test that you used for studying for the test, the pencil will remember
    the answers.

? Attila the Hun bled to death from a nosebleed on his wedding night in 453 AD. ?

Maybe I should challenge you to a duel! Yes, yes. That is a mighty fine idea. Contemplate and submit your answer!

My quiz for this day is most unusual. As is this paragraph. What is so unusual about it? If you look hard, you
should find what it is without too much difficulty. Try hard to spot it. How long did you think about it?

That one is not so easy, but you may figure it out quicker than you thought. Have fun with it and don't let it drive you
to insanity.

? Beethoven's last symphony was his 9th. ?

Were you able to watch the video I posted yesterday? If you have a comment on it, please share it! The interview before
the video was quite informative as the irony lies therein. If you have not watched it, scroll down to yesterday's entry and
please do watch it. Even if you do like that type of music, it is sure to offer something to think about. Honest.

The 100% American is 99% idiot.
- George Bernard Shaw
========================================================
Sunday, October 10, 2004 6:02 PM CDT
Name: taquito
E-Mail:
taquito3217@sbcglobal.net

i liked the imagine video it makes u think and i liked the words at the bottom of the screen well good day

========================================================
Name: Christonaspike
Home Page:
http://groups.msn.com/TheNeedleInMyEye
E-Mail:
Torirocks@msn.com

Dude if that pencil superstition is real, then I threw down on those SAT's, I'll get like a 1400, lol. ok I think
Nancy was begging for it.

That is how Attila dide, after that whole big warrior story, he fucking died from a nose bleed?

umm, well you should have said "even if you do NOT like that type of music." I can't watch anyways *cries*

ok ok, challenge: ummm, you have a fragment.

========================================================
Monday, October 11, 2004 8:15 PM CDT
Name: taquito
E-Mail:
taquito3217@sbcglobal.net

well i'm replying and today is monday so yea well i worked on sunday and i went to the movies and i don't
know wat i'm going to be for halloween and i didn't know i smelled like peanut butter but i'll take that as a
compliment even if it wasn't well adios and i know i look hip and fashionable well adios
-the mexican-



Posted by punksoup at 11:00 AM CDT
Updated: Tuesday, 12 October 2004 9:07 AM CDT
Saturday, 9 October 2004
A Libelous Tale of Futility
Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: William Shatner-Common People (Because Cpt. Kirk Rocks!)
Topic: Slap Happy Chap Caps

What you got back home little sister to play your fuzzy warbles on?

Alright... I think before I get my greetings and salutations out of the way this morning, I need to address the
MENSA stumper from yesterday. If you clearly read the paragraph leading up to the question, you would see
that it is a "slightly jumbled version of a nursery rhyme," which means perhaps it is not going to read the way
you remember it being taught to you and it is up to you to replace the vowels and separate the words accord-
ingly. I will give you the answer further into the entry. For now I have mingling to do.

Saturday... yes, a most lovely day for most people, unless everyday is the same and the only difference be-
tween any day is night time. But we can treat this as being a perfect day for all of us. It is quite drisme out-
side today but the temperature is still unknown to me for I have not set foot out of the door yet. Soon, though.

? The name Wendy was made up for the book "Peter Pan." ?

The movie we had discussed making is somewhat in the works. My little kiddo is making one and I am thinking
about acquiring some footage from, since I would like it to be a bit longer than one minute twenty eight seconds.
I do have a major problem with dialogue, so it may take another week for me to complete the creative process.

And now for Bizarre Celebrity Suicides:

  • Clara Blandick - actress (Auntie Em in The Wizard of Oz)
    1962-Sleeping pills, with a plastic bag tied over her head. She was 81-years-old and suffering from
    crippling arthritis.

  • Chris Chubbuck - newscaster
    1974-Shot herself in the head during a prime time news broadcast on Florida TV station WXLT-TV.
    She died 14 hours later.

  • Yukio Mishima (Kimitake Hiraoka) - Japanese writer
    1970-Suicide by disembowelment and decapitation (a ritual called seppuku or hara-kiri) as a protest
    of the Westernization of Japan. He killed himself in front of an assembly (which he himself called) of all
    of his students that he was teaching at a university at that time.

You may find this a bit entertaining. So, I will just come out with it and share this instant! So begins my quip of
delight. Random quotes from people we know exist, or maybe we don't... put that quote at the bottom, please.

"I have opinions of my own - strong opinions - but I don't always agree with them."
- George Bush (the elder)

"It's time for the human race to enter the solar system!"
- Dan Quayle, on the concept of a manned mission to Mars

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
- Brooke Shields

"My fellow Americans. I've signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes."
- President Reagan, before a scheduled radio broadcast, unaware that the microphone was already on

"Things are more like they are now than they have ever been."
- President Gerald Ford

"We are not without accomplishment. We have managed to distribute poverty equally."
- Nguyen Co Thatch, Vietnamese foreign minister

"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC instructor

I think every one of those quotes deserves a big, fat DUH, DUH frickity DUH!!!

? Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite. ?


This video is very interesting and it was forwarded to me yesterday. Please, if you have the capability to view
this, take five minutes and watch it. It will make you think. Brought to you courtesy of Maynard J. Keenan.

MENSA answer: JACK BE NIMBLE, JACK BE QUICK, FOR THE LIGHT JUST CHANGED AND THE ROAD IS SLICK.
Don't feel so bad, only 65% of the MENSA members who answered this question were correct.

This concludes today's broadcast.

========================================================
Saturday, October 9, 2004 2:22 PM CDT
Name: ChristOnASpike
E-Mail:
torirocks@msn.com

Speak for yourself, I had SAT's damnit, Saturday not pleasant, yet brainwracking. OMG last night on
the debate Bush made up like two more words, but I can't remember what they were, I do remember
laughing at him though, lol. "for the light just changed and the road is slick"? WTF?!? Well, at least I got
the first part right.

========================================================
Saturday, October 9, 2004 5:01 PM CDT
Name: jfkhaos
E-Mail:
theghostofjfkhaos@hotmail.com

...so not much brain power out there today but I am sure some of you need a rest...as for Auntie Em...
what a terrible way to go...did she chant over and over again, "There's no place like home...there's no
place like home...and then all the color faded from her technicolor world and faded to black. Terrible
terrible terrible...."Dorothy, the tornadoes coming and I am suffocating!"



Posted by punksoup at 9:34 AM CDT
Updated: Sunday, 10 October 2004 11:15 AM CDT
Friday, 8 October 2004
Abashed The Devil Stood
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: VNV Nation-Serial Killer
Topic: A Fungus Among Us

Evil is an exact science.

As you could see by the pictures, we are living in what seems to be a gruesome crime scene.
I have been asked how we are able to get away with this. Well, thus far, it has not been brought
to my attention that it needs to be removed. I am hoping it is permitted to remain through the
holiday, which is the reason it exists to begin with. Fake blood, chalk and some easy do-it-yourself
signs make it all possible. Did I mention the decrepit looking victim poised in a metal chair at the
door?

Maggie the Dead

It never occured to me that TGIF really meant Thank Gandolf it's Frodo! Afterall, he did save
Middle Earth and Gandolf did find him. So, yes, TGIF! And not too soon, no!

I slept late this morning. The pain of waking made slumber so much more attractive. I do feel
refreshed and ready to kill this day! But to be fair, the first thing I read this morning was an
email with a link to ananova.com with an artical on Avril Lavign (gag) who wants so much to
play Courtney Love in an upcoming movie because, "[She] is really nice and a great mom. It
would be an honor to play her." OK, I don't know if this pseudo-rock girl has been living in a
cave somewhere deep in the isolated confines of Canada for the past 13 years, (shit, strike
that that alone makes her ignorant) but I know damn well that Ms. Love is a terrible mother
who doesn't have her kid, has a nasty drug addiction and will throw down at any moment to
fight someone. She is a horrible example of a human & furthermore, nothing that a mother of
a teenage daughter should be. I guess I would be suicidal, too if I had to put up with that, but
I know she had her hand in on the demise of Se?ior Cobain. ANYWAY... politics.

? It was the Celts, not the Druids, who built Stonehenge. ?

Let's not try to get the blogger started so early in the morning with such ferocious subjects.
I had wonderful plans for this days entry and now I am just livid... allow me to cool off while
you all enjoy this:

3? Not-So-Victorian Things About Queen Victoria

1. She was a lousy parent. She loved sex but did not like that it led to babies, who she once
called "nasty objects."
2. She was a stalking victim. "The Boy Jones," as he was known, young Edward Jones first
broke into Buckingham when he was 15, remained for three days, going through the royal
kitchen personal effects of the Queen.
3. She was kicky. In her earlier years, she loved to gamble, drink and could get a bit rowdy.
3?. Her name is a byword for eroticism. By the time she died in 1901, she's been around so
long that everyone thought she was wonderful and wonderfully proper. So why is it that the
most common name in the history of Playboy Playmates? is Victoria - more poplular than Kim,
Cindy or Jenny?

? In 1659, England fined people 5 shillings if they were caught celebrating Christmas. ?

MENSA for your enquiring mind. There are only two commonly used English words from which
one could make from DRIBA. RABID and BRAID. However, I did see BAIRD which is a common
last name. Kuddos to you! Now, use your PUNKY POWER! This one is gonna be hard!

This slightly jumbled version of a nursery rhyme has had all of its vowels removed (ha ha, it's
been disenvoweled!) and the words have been broken up or down into groups of three letters
each. Replace the vowels to decipher the sentence.

JCK BNM BLJ CKB QCK FRT HLG HTJ STC HNG DND THR DSS LCK.

Good Luck!

Perhaps you don't smell like roast beef today and maybe it's Cheetos?. Whatever the case may
be, you must know that you look most terrific in your polyester golf pants and oh so chic butterfly
collar shirt with 50% polyester 50% spandex blend for a nice close fit, taylored after the infamous
wardrobe of the former Mike Brady.

Have an awesome day and blog on!

========================================================
Friday, October 8, 2004 12:00 PM CDT
Name: jfkhaos
E-Mail:
theghostofjfkhaos@hotmail.com

Okay so with the proxy error ruining the party, I cannot see the pics that are on the blog, only "hosted by Tripod"
images, so I have lucked out today.  I hope I didn't make the Blogmistress' morning to bad with the ananova.com
link I sent....

To be fair to be Queen Victoria, she did hate babies...not the babies per se but the way babies looked, "like little frogs".
She resented childbirth and called it the "shadow side of marriage" and made her feel "like a cow".  To some of her nine
children she was an excellent parent...to others she was selfish and rude, especially after the death of her husband.

The only part of the rhyme I can get is "Jack be nimble, Jack be quick" I thought the rest of the rhyme was "Jack jumped
over a candlestick" so I guess my daycare was not correct.

Can I smell like flamin hot cheetos...and how did you know I was wearing that today!?!?!?!

========================================================
Friday, October 8, 2004 4:20 PM CDT
Name: ChristOnASpike
E-Mail:
torirocks@msn.com

JACK BE NIMBLE JACK BE QUICK FROTH LOG HIT J STC HANGED AND THREADS SLICK.   gah I give up!!
Gott sei dank, Heute is Fritag, aber ich muss jetzt fur SATs studieren.

+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
punksoup says:
Gott sei dank, Heute is Fritag, aber ich muss jetzt fur SATs studieren.
God is owing to, today is Friday, but I must study for SATs now.



Posted by punksoup at 10:48 AM CDT
Updated: Saturday, 9 October 2004 9:58 AM CDT
Thursday, 7 October 2004
The Dubious Galoot of Ill Repute
Mood:  cheeky
Now Playing: Edward Ka-Spel - God In A Cupboard
Topic: Sugar On My Elbows

Pat, Pat where's your hat?

Thursday, October 7, 04 - In our little town, today is a half day at school. Which means I may
not have a new movie made and posted by tomorrow, but I will try my very best. I do have a
pretty good idea now of what the plot shall be and I do not write dialogue so it may be another
black and white silent film with music as before. I would also like for it to be at least three min-
utes in length. That's a lot of stop motion action and a lot of footage. It should be fine. We'll see
what happens.

I decorated the outside of my apartment yesterday. I made it look like a crime scene more than
anything else. Going for that haunted, spooky feel, it turned into a murderous rapture of
imbrued
contrivance.

The pics are linked to their full size image if you really want to see it that bad! Bloody wicked!

OK, a little mental challenge because I have faith that you can do this:

  • How many common English words can you make from the letters DRIBA? Use all the
    letters each time you make a new word.

That should be relatively easy for you. PLEASE at least try to get ONE stupid word!

Now for some facts whether you like it or not.

  • Shakespeare invented the words "assassination" and "bump."
  • If you keep a Goldfish in the dark room, it will eventually turn white.
  • The average human eats 8 spiders in their lifetime at night. (ok this could be bullshit!)
  • All of the clocks in the movie Pulp Fiction are stuck at 4:20.
  • The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896. Zanzibar surren-
    dered after 38 minutes.
  • Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.
  • Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.
  • One of the reasons marijuana is illegal today is because cotton growers in the 30's lobbied
    against hemp farmers, they saw it as competition.
  • The United States paid Russia just 2? per acre for Alaska.

I think that is all I have for you today. Have a most awesome day and remember one thing: You may
not look so great but the scent of
roast beef wafting from your skin makes all of the little kitties love
you!
========================================================
Thursday, October 7, 2004 8:02 AM CDT
Name: jfkhaos
E-Mail: theghostofjfkhaos@hotmail.com

A lot of people say "What's that?" "That's Pat!"

The apartment pictures turned out rather nicely, little nettle. I think it would be nice to
see a goldfish turn white without light...but then it would probably die and not smell to
good,and the red water would flow. As for the spiders, we all need our protein, and I
laughed so hard about the injection of nutmeg. Who would be so stupid as to do that.
oh wait, we know someone like that! I also laughed most heartily at the roast beef
comment...I personally like to take day old roast beef and place it under my arms so
little doggies and kitties will be my friends.

DRIBA: braid
baird (Mrs Baird)

========================================================
Thursday, October 7, 2004 12:12 PM CDT
Name: taquito
E-Mail:
taquito3217@sbcglobal.net

i see u have a crime scene in front of ur house nowadays and not the bloody mess u maybe wanted
the words from driba : braid and i'll think of more later

========================================================
Thursday, October 7, 2004 4:59 PM CDT
Name: ChristOnASpike
E-Mail:
torirocks@msn.com

ewww, i don't want to smell like roast beef! Dude look up, ITS PAT!! shim is ugly. That is cool, how did
you get away with making the outside of your apartment look like that?

DRIBA ummmm
braid
rabid



Posted by punksoup at 7:47 AM CDT
Updated: Saturday, 9 October 2004 9:50 AM CDT

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