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Shun not the blog  «
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deja entendu
Thursday, 21 October 2004
A Tralatitious Interpretation of Rubbish
Mood:  don't ask
Now Playing: Dead Can Dance-Ariadne
Topic: Shun not the blog

Give to me your hopeless hearts and make me ill.

It seems to me that whenever I try to take advantage of an online radio source, I click 'play' & it always starts with the
same song by the same band every morning. I do not appreciate that crap. The list is supposed to be taylored around
my preferences and yet, I skip the same stupid song every morning. No, I don't like Deep Forest, nor do I care much
at all for Enya. But I do enjoy hearing songs by the Magnetic Fields and the Tear Garden which is all I do like about the
whole idea behind custom radio stations, minus the crap they think you'll like based on what you do like (and the wait is
generally moderate, unwanted, but moderate.) I'll have to inform them that Skinny Puppy has NOTHING in common with
Meat Beat Manifesto nor is KMFDM anything like Bjork. I type in Dead Can Dance and it spits out Moby. I guess that is
just another way we are letting the machines think for us...

"I will not eat anything with the word 'dick' in it" But what about Spotted Dick? It's only a dessert! Well, an English dessert:
A cylinder of dense spongy dough with raisins or currants imbedded in it, which make it "spotted"; "dick" referring to the
dough. So, raisin cake. Wow! Something so simple with such a repulsive name! It sounds like a disease.


And cheap, too! Only 99 pence!

? The correct response to the Irish greeting, "Top of the morning to you," is "and the rest of the day to yourself." ?

Just Words

  • CODSWALLOP, n. - Nonsense
  • HAPTIC, adj. - Of, or relating to, the sense of touch or tactile sensations.
  • GOMER, n. - An undesirable hospital patient.
  • HONEYFUGGLE, v. - Deceive by flattery or sweet-talk; swindle or cheat.
  • KELEMENOPY, n. - A sequential straight line through the middle of everything, leading nowhere.
  • INCARNADINE adj. and v. - As an adjective: relating to a blood-red or crimson colour; as a verb: to render
    something that colour.
  • PILGARLIC, n. - A bald-headed man; a person looked on with humorous contempt or mock pity.
One man's bathroom is another man's cackatorium.
Germany: stlles ?rtchen ("silent little place"), donnerbalken ("thunder board"), and plumsklo ("plop closet")
Australia: Dunny, diddy, toot and brasco
Russia: ubornaya ("adornment place")
France: pissoir
Holland: bestekamer ("best room")

? Neither horses nor rabbits have the ability to vomit. ?

Gruesome Collectibles

  • A toilet seat allegedly belonging to Adolf Hitler was put up for auction in Los Angeles in 1968. It was claimed
    that it had been rescued from Hitler's bunker in 1945.

  • The fridge in which serial killer Jeffery Dahmer, "the Milwaukee Cannibal," stored his victim's "parts" went to
    auction in 1996 to settle claims made by the families of some of his victims.

  • The world's most collectible turd is a nine-inch stool known as the Lloyds Bank Turd. The unique Viking poo, so
    called because it was found in an archaeoligical dig under Llyods bank, is insured for ?20,000.

  • The stuffed carcass of Toto, from the 1939 film, The Wizard of Oz, fetched ?2,300 at auction in 1996.

To continue with the yet unnamed blog story...

Deep in the wranglands? of Peppergate, there loomed an obscurity in the air, much slampant and imposing with ...
a green mist and a foul stench, reminiscent of the bogs of Peppergate Forest.? Limping through the brush, a frail old woman ...
burdened by the weight of a pale containing verter-water?, recently extracted from the grave of her beloved, wandered
hopelessly searching for ... the path that would take her back to her home, a home long since vanished when the roots of the
trees consumed what they felt was rightfully theirs. The journey to her beloved's grave was long and treacherous, compounded
by the fact that the accident she met .... a talking worm named Samuel. And he tried to climb up her leg and eat away at her stitches.
But he couldn't do that, because then her leaves would fall out and she would have no legs to walk on. So she decided... to continue,
but it left her hopeless and nightfoundered? for fear she too, would be absorbed by the Deadciduous Grove. Accompanied by her new
friend, Samuel, they managed to make it until morning, eating nothing but frond? wafers and ... deer droppings. Suddenly a screech
owl swooped down and plucked poor Samuel from the ground. In a flash the owl flew back to her nest and proceeded to rip Samuel
apart and then finally to devour him. The old bat was mortified and hurled a curse up at the owl...

? the leaf of a fern

Good Thursday to you all! Enjoy your newfound knowledge and bludgeon your peers with it!



Posted by punksoup at 8:11 AM CDT
Updated: Saturday, 23 October 2004 5:56 AM CDT

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