deja entendu

Thursday, 14 October 2004

A Schadenfreudic Touchstone of Intoxication
Mood:

mischievious
Now Playing: Dalis Car-Create And Melt
Topic: Idiot's Parade

Sneaky little hobbitses. Wicked, tricksy, false!

Happy Thursday! I see some of you are wearing yellow, STHUPER! (As in Super, with a homo-type lisp "sthuper".) It
looksth awsthome on you! (There is a reason for this. But I will explain later.) Let's review the answers to yesterday's
Almost All True Quiz!

Almost All True: (a), (b) and (c) are true. Which means (d) is FALSE. They all sounded a little far fetched, and I, myself
did not know the answer until last night and thought it was probably (a).

Is it animal cruelty to dye your poodle? I think it is particularly cruel just to be a poodle. They are
permed rats, thats's what they are. Nasty little dogs, always bearing their teeth and yapping at people.
Anyway, I was in the beauty supply store Monday and there was an older lady inquiring about which
would be the best dye to use to make her dog purple. I did find myself laughing but when I realized
this lady was all to serious, I told her which dye to use so as not to harm her evil little critter. So, is
that animal cruelty? Imagine if you will, not a poodle quite as large as this, but a poodle nonetheless.

I was just wondering. So would you dye your pet? Dog, cat, rat, whatever the pet is, or do you think
that it is just wrong?

I am not sure how I am to believe this story, but it is allegedly true:

McDonald's franchisees in Cape Girardeau, Mo., Brainerd, Minn., and Norwood, Mass., recently began outsourcing
their drive-thru order-taking to a call center in Colorado Springs, Colo. Thus, a Big Mac order shouted into a micro-
phone in Missouri gets typed into a computer in Colorado (and a digital photograph of the customer's car is taken
in order to reduce errors) and then clicked back to the originating restaurant's kitchen, which has the order ready
in less time (30 seconds less, on average, with fewer errors) than the average McDonald's takes.
[International Herald Tribune-New York Times, 7-19-04]

? In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world's nuclear weapons combined. ?

The Meaning of Color:
RED
In Russia, red means beautiful. The Bolsheviks used a red flag as their symbol when they overthrew the Tsar in 1917. That is
how red became the color of communism.

GREEN
In the highlands of Scotland, people wore green as a mark of honor.

BLUE
Blue was used as protection against witches, who supposedly dislike the color. (I hate the color, myself)

PURPLE
In Thailand, purple is worn by a widow mourning her husband's death.

YELLOW
It is said that homosexuals wear yellow on Thursday as a silent way to indentify one another. But here is a fact and not a myth:
In tenth-century France, the doors of traitors and criminals were painted yellow.

WHITE
The ancient Persians believed all gods wore white. (Don't they?)

BLACK
In China, black is for little boys. Blue is for little girls. (I thought pink was for boys in China.)

? In the United States Pine Street is the most common street name - not Main St. ?

Vocabulary? Why? Then we will cover some grammar from The Lord of the Rings.

besotted, v. (1) - made drunk; Merry besotted Pippin with the finest mead.

cony, n. - rabbit; Smeagol loves fresh cony for breakfast.

durstn't, v. - dare not; Samwise durstn't wake Frodo for he needs his rest.

flummoxed,v. - bewildered, disconcerted; Smeagol was flummoxed in his fruitless search of the precious.

mead, n. (1) - an alcoholic drink made from honey; Hobbits love mead and merriment.

semblance, n. - appearance; The semblance of the Nazgul frightened the hobbits.

Do you think maybe you can use these today without repeating the aformentioned examples?

This ends today's entry. I hope you have learned something even if it means not dying your pets or ordering from a McDonald's
in Brainerd, MN which is 137 miles from Fargo, ND, don'tcha know!?! Oh Gad!

========================================================
Thursday, October 14, 2004 12:37 PM CDT
Name: jfkhaos
E-Mail: theghostofjfkhaos@hotmail.com

Is it "fashion a la mode" to dye your dog the color of your hair? Is this confined to the "55 and over
get a free coffee with their Filet-o-Fish after 10am" crowd? Maybe your experience will start a new
trend.....skinheads can have skinhead dogs....we could patent this.....call that number and find out how!

I found myself besotted by the flummoxed cony; the semblance of his blood to mead made me feel that
I dursn't deny myself the pleasure.
========================================================
Thursday, October 14, 2004 4:30 PM CDT
Name: taquito
E-Mail: taquito3217@sbcglobal.net

well hello there i was think about how i durstn't smoke for it is a bad habit and i am also flummoxed at
the semblance that adults put on when they smoke thereby making their children think smokin is an ok
habit. don't know if it sounds good but it does for me. adios -the mexican-
========================================================
Thursday, October 14, 2004 5:51 PM CDT
Name: VM
E-Mail: vm7573@hotmail.com

http://www.angrynakedpat.com/andymilonakis.com/crispy.wmv
lol
========================================================
Thursday, October 14, 2004 8:39 PM CDT
Name: ChristOnASpike
E-Mail: torirocks@msn.com

Yay for animal rights! he same day that I began a petition for the students right to choose whether to disect
or not, and not be puniched for ethical or religious believes. So, If your dog freaks out, don't dye him that is
just mean damnit, and their skin is much more sensitive to chemicals than our is.

HHMMMM WORDS! I besotted me dog one time on accident. Cony are for eating all your lettuce and hopping
away like nothing happened. I would never drink mead, I don't want that made out of honey crap. I flummoxed
many people today with Sadie.
========================================================
Thursday, October 14, 2004 9:12 PM CDT
Name: X or Macrae or whatever...I cant re
E-Mail: macrae85@hotmail.com

Gee golly, I thought everyone who was anyone dyed their doggies! Hmmmm.....our little dog Frodo would look
nice with a blue mohawk.

This just in: Hewitt Associates in The Woodlands, TX will now be taking all drive-thru calls for Jack in the Boxes in
Tennessee, Vermont, Washington and Puerto Rico.

Posted by punksoup at 8:00 AM CDT

Updated: Friday, 15 October 2004 8:35 AM CDT

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Wednesday, 13 October 2004

Spats of Glee and Sausage Casings
Mood:

d'oh
Now Playing: Dead Can Dance-Black Sun
Topic: Like Peeing in a Pod

It's just a blog. Don't be scared!

Whoa! It's Hump Day again! That means the week is nearly through and heck, the month is going to be half
over by the end of this week. Where has the time gone? You know how when you're a kid, time drags and
drags on? Well DAMN, now that I am not waiting to be "out of school" or "grown up" any more, time will NOT
slow down. I hate that! Well, I do but I don't. The years goes by a little slower in the beginning months, but
it seems that after September, the years goes faster then a pack of whippet bitches!

I am getting this entry together rather slowly today. It has been that way for a few weeks now. It is only for
this reason: I have to keep you all on your toes! I can't take this blog back to Kindergarten, so finding new &
interesting things on a daily basis is my only priority! Let's blog, shall we?

? A 10-year-old Komodo dragon in heat accidentally plunged to her death off a wall in the London Zoo trying to
get to her mate. ?

Almost All True
Three of these four things really happened, just recently. Are you cynical enough to figure out the made-up story?

(a) A judge in California told juror-candidates that if they were embarrassed to admit that they couldn't be fair, just
to make up another excuse, and he'd let them go.

(b) Australia's tax agency signed up as a sponsor of this year's awards pageant for the country's pornography and
prostitution industry.

(c) The insurer Lloyd's of London wrote a policy on a male model that would pay off if accident or illness caused him to
lose 85 percent of his chest hair.

(d) A court in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, approved the forcible implanting of a radio frequency identification tag in the arms
of a man's two wives so he can monitor their whereabouts.

Vulgar Vocabulary in Foreign Languages

sitzpinkler [german] (sit-speen-kler), n. - literally, a man who sits to urinate

Technicolor yawn [australian], v. - vomit

Piss in the Beds [irish], n. - dandelions

Monkey Bath [english, u.k.] adj. - a bath that is far to hot.

Nancy [russian], n. - a gay man

fututi gura! [romanian] (fu-tu goo-rah) exp. - fuck you!

Don't let that get you into trouble!

? The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's
head off. ?

There is no reason as to why this is so funny, but I urge you to look at it. I laughed!

Now for something you can learn from.

Misspell is the most commonly misspelled word.

The circular saw was invented by a woman, Tabitha Babbitt in 1812.

Bar codes were created by Monarch Marking, U.S. in 1970 and first appeared on Wrigley's? gum.

That is all. There is no more. Be like sponges and absorb some knowledge today!

========================================================
Wednesday, October 13, 2004 5:23 PM CDT
Name: jfkhaos
E-Mail: theghostofjfkhaos@hotmail.com

Almost all true...that's a hard one as I think they all of them are quite possible, but unfortunately I haven't come
across any of these news stories, so I have to guess and take my chances. Therefore, fanfare please, I believe
the false one to be letter A...wait....letter D...okay my final answer, more than likely incorrect, is letter B. My
friend, a bonafide sitzpinkler, who donated a Technicolor yawn to his monkey bath, turned out to be a Nancy who
was quite popular with the local crowd for asking people if he could fututi gura! I knew the word misspell was
mispelled. A ha...did you catch that typo? Over and out, blogmistress!

========================================================
Wednesday, October 13, 2004 3:35 PM CDT
Name: taquito
E-Mail: taquito3217@sbcglobal.net

good blog today i like the vocabulary words today they were good and for the sentences that were false i pick (a)
to be false well good day today

========================================================
Wednesday, October 13, 2004 7:16 PM CDT
Name: ChristOnASpike
E-Mail: torirocks@msn.com

ok i think the first one isn't true because it makes no sense to me what-so-ever.
LMAO, sitzpinkler, ahahaha, "darf ich pinkle gehen?" pinkle is such a childish word its like teetee.
Hmm funny cause the babies eat the male praying mantis. That would suck if people had to do that, I am going no
further on that thought.

Posted by punksoup at 11:21 AM CDT

Updated: Thursday, 14 October 2004 5:43 AM CDT

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Tuesday, 12 October 2004

Sprayed by the Rancid Musk of Regret
Mood:

a-ok
Now Playing: The Creatures-Morrina
Topic: The Spider's Bollocks

Funnier than a drunken Hobbit!

The first cold day of the season and I love it. I actually got to wear my hoody for warmth and not fashion!
If only it would stay this lovely all day long. But I know it shant. I want to send a big "JOOP" for those of
you who think it's most yummy to smell like rotting vanilla.

Here are some crazy facts that may make you laugh, cry or just plain nauseous.

The mad, nineteenth-century French poet Gerard de Nerval, could occasionally be seen taking a
lobster for a walk on the end of a length of ribbon. After being institutionalized eight times he was
discovered dead, hanging from a Paris lamp post in 1855.

In 1968 Communist party leader Chairman Mao Tse-Tung banned "The Sound of Music" in China
because it was a blatant example of capitalist pornography.

In 1993 a police raid on the A-1 Massage Studio in Oregon, uncovered a masturbation service that
was offered by two sisters, aged 70 and 73.

Pope John Paul II (1467-1471) allegedly died of a heart attack while being sodomized by a page boy.

Henry VIII employed a Groom of the Stool, who was required to wipe the royal anus.

*More recently, a 67 year old Romanian man claims he accidentally cut off his penis thinking it was a
noisy chicken keeping him awake. Upon discovering what he had done, he fed it to the dog. (* story
submitted by jfkhaos)

Graveyard Shift: The reason we say it
Every industry that operates around the clock has a graveyard shift. Some persons who punch a clock
at odd hours think their time of work has some sort of connection with burial places/ But the true origin
is not quite so obvious.

Any thick liquid was called gravy for a long, long time. Only special kinds of gravy went on the table.
"Humour running from the eyes" caused some people to be called "gravy-eyed." In addition to disease,
late vigils in bed led to bleary eyes. Sailors who had the watch that started at midnight were often seen
gravy-eyed before they went off duty. That led them to speak of the middle watch as the "gravy-eyed
shift." Landlubbers who heard the expression didn't fully understand it. Aided by superstitions about the
cemeteries, the sea-born label bacame the graveyard shift in industry.

*And I can totally understand if people on the east coast mistook "gravy-eyed" for "graveyard." So put
on your best New England accent and say it aloud, "Grave-yod."

Stranded in Vocabulary Land?

casselanaire, n., v. - pipe dream, fanciful creation

darkling, n. - one who is depressed or chronically melancholy

flamanous, adj. - provocative, inflammatory

hyponious, adj. - given to flights of imagination

nacilious, adj. - of or pertaining to an adult who uses baby talk

I hope you can find use for those. Don't just throw them away. Keep them and make spit balls out of them.

This Day in History
1492 Christopher Columbus and his crew land in the Bahamas. (Not America at all, is it?)
1609 The song "Three Blind Mice" is published in London, believed to be the earliest printed secular song.
1872 Apache leader Cochise signs a peace treaty with General Howard in Arizona Territory.
1933 Alcatraz Island is made a federal maximum security prison.

You think we're free? Read and learn, my friend. Read and learn.
I have a disclaimer for this: These are not MY opinions. These are random facts found in random places.
Wherever you stand politically is your business. Everyone will more than likely have an opinion on this
issue, so share it. Remember, this is a look at what rights other citizens of other countries have.

? Iraq under Hussein is freer than America: Universal gun ownership, no crime and low taxes made Iraq more
American than America. (I think this one has a lot to be reasoned with.)
? Many examples of Japan's national freedoms can be found here.

I will continue this quest throughout the day so that I may post this entry in a timely fashion. It has taken me a
little more than an hour to collect just the two examples.

Put that in your pipe and smoke it!

========================================================
Tuesday, October 12, 2004 11:59 AM CDT
Name: jfkhaos
E-Mail: theghostofjfkhaos@hotmail.com

I am going to reply through email because obviously my last post, posted through "post your comment", did
not post, so I show no post, and I did post...really I did. The whole thing about the A-1 Massage Studio is just
geriatrically disgusting.....eeew makes you cringe in horror to imagine some old woman doing that to someone,
like, lets say, Steve Buscemi. UG!

All of you nacilious people out there, you know who you are (subliminal christonaspike...OOH BOOYAH) need to
stop talking like that...."does mama's itsy bitsy teeny weeny widdle puppy need to go ni-ni? her is cute, yes'm i
s" God what the hell is that? There is a reason for evolution, people, let's prove it and use it instead of reversion.

Okay...I do not agree with the freedom issues....I won't elaborate as that will turn viewers of this post, which grows
ever longer, but I will say this. Any country with a dictator is not free not matter what they can do...but then again
what is the US? As for Japan, the Japanese are brought up with more respect for their surroundings, and beautiful
behavior produces more "freedom". Whatever...I'm out.
========================================================
Tuesday, October 12, 2004 7:30 PM CDT
Name: ChristOnASpike
E-Mail: torirocks@msn.com

It was really cold two days ago, brrr. Its so niiiiice!
And really if you look at it, noone is free as long as they are being kept by rules that aren't made by
themselves, sigh. OK I have a word for you: ologopoly - a market structure in which few large firms
dominate a market

have a nice day :)

========================================================
Tuesday, October 12, 2004 9:29 PM CDT
Name: taquito
E-Mail: taquito3217@sbcglobal.net

good blog this fine day i like the nice weather and i was thinking on darkling people while readin the word.

Posted by punksoup at 8:44 AM CDT

Updated: Thursday, 14 October 2004 5:43 AM CDT

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Monday, 11 October 2004

A Symphonic Dream Sequence of Muttering Popes
Mood:

rushed
Now Playing: Crass-Darling
Topic: Spastic Plastic

With the pricking of my thumb, something wicked this way comes.

Columbus Day? What the hell for? He did not "discover" America. He simply misplaced himself and called
it India then had the privledge of naming this plot. Why does he get so much props? WHY!?! What about the
real history? What about the countless times this place was "discovered" before Columbus? Why can't they
just rewrite the books? It's not like they haven't been rewrting our history books for years now, anyway.
Columbus Day my ass. It's a secondary excuse for teachers, bankers and other forms of nematodes to get
the day off. Not that teachers are nematodes, unless they are, but I wouldn't put them in the "parasite" cate-
gorey just yet.

? All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill. ?

Ok, the MENSA challenge for yesterday was a bit difficult but that was the point! So, here is the answer:

The fact that there were no "e"s in the paragraph was the unusual thing about it since "e" is the
most commonly used letter.

LOSERS.

I think I am out of crap to share today. I have been hammering away at this for 2 ? hours now and I have
nothing of interest to share.

This is where I sit and stare at the monitor until something comes to mind.

PERFECT! Pre-Columbian Menu and other curiousities.

During the lifetimes of ancient folk, tobacco didn't exist in Egypt, cocoa had never been seen in Rome,
and pigs didn't live in Mexico. In fact, many of the plants and animals that cover the globe today weren't
widespread until the voyages of Columbus redrew the ecological map of the world.

Before 1492, no Englishman ever ate corn (they may not eat it now, either, it's food for the pigs!) No Native
American rode a horse. There were no wheat fields waving across the Great Plains, and you could not get
your Italian aunt's recipe for tomato sauce because no one in Italy had ever seen a tomato. There were
no bananas in Gautemala, oranges in Florida nor peaches in Georgia. Nor were there potatoes in England.

Columbus's voyages of discovery created traffic in the Atlantic. Explorers conquistadors, missionaries and
settlers moved back and forth between the New World and the Old, with plants and animals and brought
back what they found in the Americas. They brought the plagues and diseases they left in the New World. Sad
but true. The Native Americans had never experienced disease before the savages of the "white man."

Assimilate that nugget of wisdom and remember who your daddy is!

========================================================
Monday, 11 October 2004 - 4:10 PM CDT
Name: Christonaspike
Home Page: http://groups.msn.com/TheNeedleInMyEye
E-Mail: Torirocks@msn.com

Dude that whole $5 thing, I just discovered that the other day when I was bored, and I agree, this Columbus
Day thing is stupid. Kill all the white man!

========================================================
Monday, October 11, 2004 8:19 PM CDT
Name: taquito
E-Mail: taquito3217@sbcglobal.net

nice blog today not the usual informative one but a good one none the less well avoir (bye)
-the mexican-

Posted by punksoup at 10:45 AM CDT

Updated: Tuesday, 12 October 2004 9:12 AM CDT

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Sunday, 10 October 2004

Ascetic Existence of Incessant Persistence
Now Playing: Siouxsie & The Banshees-Overground
Topic: Pleonastic Redundancy

Much more than this, I did it my way...

Tomorrow brings the [26th] anniversary of the last night Sid and Nancy would spend together. Some say
she was murdered by Sid, I say she had a death wish and begged for her demise. To each their own, right?
After all, he loved her more than heroin.

Hi, hello, how are you this morning/day/afternoon? All is quite right as rain here. I slept a bit later than usual,
found my coffee to be patiently waiting for me when I woke and didn't feel 62 years old! That's an awesome
bonus for me! The weather is, once again, as perfect as can be expected for October in TX, not hot, no sun,
the absence of summer is alright to me!

? Seven suicides are recorded in the Bible. ?

I must give you something interesting to ponder for today. I know, let's cover a few superstitions.

It is bad luck to light three cigarettes with the same match. "Three on a match, that's a goocher!"

If you have 13 letters in your name, you will have the devil's luck . Jack the Ripper, Charles Manson,
Jeffrey Dahmer, Theodore Bundy and Albert De Salvo all have 13 letters in their names. (I do too!)

If a mirror in the house falls and breaks by itself, someone in the house will die soon.

If you bite your tongue while eating, it is because you have recently told a lie.

If you use the same pencil to take a test that you used for studying for the test, the pencil will remember
the answers.

? Attila the Hun bled to death from a nosebleed on his wedding night in 453 AD. ?

Maybe I should challenge you to a duel! Yes, yes. That is a mighty fine idea. Contemplate and submit your answer!

My quiz for this day is most unusual. As is this paragraph. What is so unusual about it? If you look hard, you
should find what it is without too much difficulty. Try hard to spot it. How long did you think about it?

That one is not so easy, but you may figure it out quicker than you thought. Have fun with it and don't let it drive you
to insanity.

? Beethoven's last symphony was his 9th. ?

Were you able to watch the video I posted yesterday? If you have a comment on it, please share it! The interview before
the video was quite informative as the irony lies therein. If you have not watched it, scroll down to yesterday's entry and
please do watch it. Even if you do like that type of music, it is sure to offer something to think about. Honest.

The 100% American is 99% idiot.
- George Bernard Shaw
========================================================
Sunday, October 10, 2004 6:02 PM CDT
Name: taquito
E-Mail: taquito3217@sbcglobal.net

i liked the imagine video it makes u think and i liked the words at the bottom of the screen well good day

========================================================
Name: Christonaspike
Home Page: http://groups.msn.com/TheNeedleInMyEye
E-Mail: Torirocks@msn.com

Dude if that pencil superstition is real, then I threw down on those SAT's, I'll get like a 1400, lol. ok I think
Nancy was begging for it.

That is how Attila dide, after that whole big warrior story, he fucking died from a nose bleed?

umm, well you should have said "even if you do NOT like that type of music." I can't watch anyways *cries*

ok ok, challenge: ummm, you have a fragment.

========================================================
Monday, October 11, 2004 8:15 PM CDT
Name: taquito
E-Mail: taquito3217@sbcglobal.net

well i'm replying and today is monday so yea well i worked on sunday and i went to the movies and i don't
know wat i'm going to be for halloween and i didn't know i smelled like peanut butter but i'll take that as a
compliment even if it wasn't well adios and i know i look hip and fashionable well adios
-the mexican-

Posted by punksoup at 11:00 AM CDT

Updated: Tuesday, 12 October 2004 9:07 AM CDT

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Saturday, 9 October 2004

A Libelous Tale of Futility
Mood:

chillin'
Now Playing: William Shatner-Common People (Because Cpt. Kirk Rocks!)
Topic: Slap Happy Chap Caps

What you got back home little sister to play your fuzzy warbles on?

Alright... I think before I get my greetings and salutations out of the way this morning, I need to address the
MENSA stumper from yesterday. If you clearly read the paragraph leading up to the question, you would see
that it is a "slightly jumbled version of a nursery rhyme," which means perhaps it is not going to read the way
you remember it being taught to you and it is up to you to replace the vowels and separate the words accord-
ingly. I will give you the answer further into the entry. For now I have mingling to do.

Saturday... yes, a most lovely day for most people, unless everyday is the same and the only difference be-
tween any day is night time. But we can treat this as being a perfect day for all of us. It is quite drisme out-
side today but the temperature is still unknown to me for I have not set foot out of the door yet. Soon, though.

? The name Wendy was made up for the book "Peter Pan." ?

The movie we had discussed making is somewhat in the works. My little kiddo is making one and I am thinking
about acquiring some footage from, since I would like it to be a bit longer than one minute twenty eight seconds.
I do have a major problem with dialogue, so it may take another week for me to complete the creative process.

And now for Bizarre Celebrity Suicides:

Clara Blandick - actress (Auntie Em in The Wizard of Oz)
1962-Sleeping pills, with a plastic bag tied over her head. She was 81-years-old and suffering from
crippling arthritis.

Chris Chubbuck - newscaster
1974-Shot herself in the head during a prime time news broadcast on Florida TV station WXLT-TV.
She died 14 hours later.

Yukio Mishima (Kimitake Hiraoka) - Japanese writer
1970-Suicide by disembowelment and decapitation (a ritual called seppuku or hara-kiri) as a protest
of the Westernization of Japan. He killed himself in front of an assembly (which he himself called) of all
of his students that he was teaching at a university at that time.

You may find this a bit entertaining. So, I will just come out with it and share this instant! So begins my quip of
delight. Random quotes from people we know exist, or maybe we don't... put that quote at the bottom, please.

"I have opinions of my own - strong opinions - but I don't always agree with them."
- George Bush (the elder)

"It's time for the human race to enter the solar system!"
- Dan Quayle, on the concept of a manned mission to Mars

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
- Brooke Shields

"My fellow Americans. I've signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes."
- President Reagan, before a scheduled radio broadcast, unaware that the microphone was already on

"Things are more like they are now than they have ever been."
- President Gerald Ford

"We are not without accomplishment. We have managed to distribute poverty equally."
- Nguyen Co Thatch, Vietnamese foreign minister

"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC instructor

I think every one of those quotes deserves a big, fat DUH, DUH frickity DUH!!!

? Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite. ?

This video is very interesting and it was forwarded to me yesterday. Please, if you have the capability to view
this, take five minutes and watch it. It will make you think. Brought to you courtesy of Maynard J. Keenan.

MENSA answer: JACK BE NIMBLE, JACK BE QUICK, FOR THE LIGHT JUST CHANGED AND THE ROAD IS SLICK.
Don't feel so bad, only 65% of the MENSA members who answered this question were correct.

This concludes today's broadcast.

========================================================
Saturday, October 9, 2004 2:22 PM CDT
Name: ChristOnASpike
E-Mail: torirocks@msn.com

Speak for yourself, I had SAT's damnit, Saturday not pleasant, yet brainwracking. OMG last night on
the debate Bush made up like two more words, but I can't remember what they were, I do remember
laughing at him though, lol. "for the light just changed and the road is slick"? WTF?!? Well, at least I got
the first part right.

========================================================
Saturday, October 9, 2004 5:01 PM CDT
Name: jfkhaos
E-Mail: theghostofjfkhaos@hotmail.com

...so not much brain power out there today but I am sure some of you need a rest...as for Auntie Em...
what a terrible way to go...did she chant over and over again, "There's no place like home...there's no
place like home...and then all the color faded from her technicolor world and faded to black. Terrible
terrible terrible...."Dorothy, the tornadoes coming and I am suffocating!"

Posted by punksoup at 9:34 AM CDT

Updated: Sunday, 10 October 2004 11:15 AM CDT

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Friday, 8 October 2004

Abashed The Devil Stood
Mood:

not sure
Now Playing: VNV Nation-Serial Killer
Topic: A Fungus Among Us

Evil is an exact science.

As you could see by the pictures, we are living in what seems to be a gruesome crime scene.
I have been asked how we are able to get away with this. Well, thus far, it has not been brought
to my attention that it needs to be removed. I am hoping it is permitted to remain through the
holiday, which is the reason it exists to begin with. Fake blood, chalk and some easy do-it-yourself
signs make it all possible. Did I mention the decrepit looking victim poised in a metal chair at the
door?

Maggie the Dead

It never occured to me that TGIF really meant Thank Gandolf it's Frodo! Afterall, he did save
Middle Earth and Gandolf did find him. So, yes, TGIF! And not too soon, no!

I slept late this morning. The pain of waking made slumber so much more attractive. I do feel
refreshed and ready to kill this day! But to be fair, the first thing I read this morning was an
email with a link to ananova.com with an artical on Avril Lavign (gag) who wants so much to
play Courtney Love in an upcoming movie because, "[She] is really nice and a great mom. It
would be an honor to play her." OK, I don't know if this pseudo-rock girl has been living in a
cave somewhere deep in the isolated confines of Canada for the past 13 years, (shit, strike
that that alone makes her ignorant) but I know damn well that Ms. Love is a terrible mother
who doesn't have her kid, has a nasty drug addiction and will throw down at any moment to
fight someone. She is a horrible example of a human & furthermore, nothing that a mother of
a teenage daughter should be. I guess I would be suicidal, too if I had to put up with that, but
I know she had her hand in on the demise of Se?ior Cobain. ANYWAY... politics.

? It was the Celts, not the Druids, who built Stonehenge. ?

Let's not try to get the blogger started so early in the morning with such ferocious subjects.
I had wonderful plans for this days entry and now I am just livid... allow me to cool off while
you all enjoy this:

3? Not-So-Victorian Things About Queen Victoria

1. She was a lousy parent. She loved sex but did not like that it led to babies, who she once
called "nasty objects."
2. She was a stalking victim. "The Boy Jones," as he was known, young Edward Jones first
broke into Buckingham when he was 15, remained for three days, going through the royal
kitchen personal effects of the Queen.
3. She was kicky. In her earlier years, she loved to gamble, drink and could get a bit rowdy.
3?. Her name is a byword for eroticism. By the time she died in 1901, she's been around so
long that everyone thought she was wonderful and wonderfully proper. So why is it that the
most common name in the history of Playboy Playmates? is Victoria - more poplular than Kim,
Cindy or Jenny?

? In 1659, England fined people 5 shillings if they were caught celebrating Christmas. ?

MENSA for your enquiring mind. There are only two commonly used English words from which
one could make from DRIBA. RABID and BRAID. However, I did see BAIRD which is a common
last name. Kuddos to you! Now, use your PUNKY POWER! This one is gonna be hard!

This slightly jumbled version of a nursery rhyme has had all of its vowels removed (ha ha, it's
been disenvoweled!) and the words have been broken up or down into groups of three letters
each. Replace the vowels to decipher the sentence.

JCK BNM BLJ CKB QCK FRT HLG HTJ STC HNG DND THR DSS LCK.

Good Luck!

Perhaps you don't smell like roast beef today and maybe it's Cheetos?. Whatever the case may
be, you must know that you look most terrific in your polyester golf pants and oh so chic butterfly
collar shirt with 50% polyester 50% spandex blend for a nice close fit, taylored after the infamous
wardrobe of the former Mike Brady.

Have an awesome day and blog on!

========================================================
Friday, October 8, 2004 12:00 PM CDT
Name: jfkhaos
E-Mail: theghostofjfkhaos@hotmail.com

Okay so with the proxy error ruining the party, I cannot see the pics that are on the blog, only "hosted by Tripod"
images, so I have lucked out today. I hope I didn't make the Blogmistress' morning to bad with the ananova.com
link I sent....

To be fair to be Queen Victoria, she did hate babies...not the babies per se but the way babies looked, "like little frogs".
She resented childbirth and called it the "shadow side of marriage" and made her feel "like a cow". To some of her nine
children she was an excellent parent...to others she was selfish and rude, especially after the death of her husband.

The only part of the rhyme I can get is "Jack be nimble, Jack be quick" I thought the rest of the rhyme was "Jack jumped
over a candlestick" so I guess my daycare was not correct.

Can I smell like flamin hot cheetos...and how did you know I was wearing that today!?!?!?!

========================================================
Friday, October 8, 2004 4:20 PM CDT
Name: ChristOnASpike
E-Mail: torirocks@msn.com

JACK BE NIMBLE JACK BE QUICK FROTH LOG HIT J STC HANGED AND THREADS SLICK. gah I give up!!
Gott sei dank, Heute is Fritag, aber ich muss jetzt fur SATs studieren.

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punksoup says:
Gott sei dank, Heute is Fritag, aber ich muss jetzt fur SATs studieren.
God is owing to, today is Friday, but I must study for SATs now.

Posted by punksoup at 10:48 AM CDT

Updated: Saturday, 9 October 2004 9:58 AM CDT

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Thursday, 7 October 2004

The Dubious Galoot of Ill Repute
Mood:

cheeky
Now Playing: Edward Ka-Spel - God In A Cupboard
Topic: Sugar On My Elbows

Pat, Pat where's your hat?

Thursday, October 7, 04 - In our little town, today is a half day at school. Which means I may
not have a new movie made and posted by tomorrow, but I will try my very best. I do have a
pretty good idea now of what the plot shall be and I do not write dialogue so it may be another
black and white silent film with music as before. I would also like for it to be at least three min-
utes in length. That's a lot of stop motion action and a lot of footage. It should be fine. We'll see
what happens.

I decorated the outside of my apartment yesterday. I made it look like a crime scene more than
anything else. Going for that haunted, spooky feel, it turned into a murderous rapture of imbrued
contrivance.

The pics are linked to their full size image if you really want to see it that bad! Bloody wicked!

OK, a little mental challenge because I have faith that you can do this:

How many common English words can you make from the letters DRIBA? Use all the
letters each time you make a new word.

That should be relatively easy for you. PLEASE at least try to get ONE stupid word!

Now for some facts whether you like it or not.

Shakespeare invented the words "assassination" and "bump."
If you keep a Goldfish in the dark room, it will eventually turn white.
The average human eats 8 spiders in their lifetime at night. (ok this could be bullshit!)
All of the clocks in the movie Pulp Fiction are stuck at 4:20.
The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896. Zanzibar surren-
dered after 38 minutes.
Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.
Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.
One of the reasons marijuana is illegal today is because cotton growers in the 30's lobbied
against hemp farmers, they saw it as competition.
The United States paid Russia just 2? per acre for Alaska.

I think that is all I have for you today. Have a most awesome day and remember one thing: You may
not look so great but the scent of roast beef wafting from your skin makes all of the little kitties love
you!
========================================================
Thursday, October 7, 2004 8:02 AM CDT
Name: jfkhaos
E-Mail: theghostofjfkhaos@hotmail.com

A lot of people say "What's that?" "That's Pat!"

The apartment pictures turned out rather nicely, little nettle. I think it would be nice to
see a goldfish turn white without light...but then it would probably die and not smell to
good,and the red water would flow. As for the spiders, we all need our protein, and I
laughed so hard about the injection of nutmeg. Who would be so stupid as to do that.
oh wait, we know someone like that! I also laughed most heartily at the roast beef
comment...I personally like to take day old roast beef and place it under my arms so
little doggies and kitties will be my friends.

DRIBA: braid
baird (Mrs Baird)

========================================================
Thursday, October 7, 2004 12:12 PM CDT
Name: taquito
E-Mail: taquito3217@sbcglobal.net

i see u have a crime scene in front of ur house nowadays and not the bloody mess u maybe wanted
the words from driba : braid and i'll think of more later

========================================================
Thursday, October 7, 2004 4:59 PM CDT
Name: ChristOnASpike
E-Mail: torirocks@msn.com

ewww, i don't want to smell like roast beef! Dude look up, ITS PAT!! shim is ugly. That is cool, how did
you get away with making the outside of your apartment look like that?

DRIBA ummmm
braid
rabid

Posted by punksoup at 7:47 AM CDT

Updated: Saturday, 9 October 2004 9:50 AM CDT

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Wednesday, 6 October 2004

An Impalpable Emanation of a Noxious Idea
Mood:

silly
Now Playing: Death In June-Rose Clouds of Holocaust
Topic: Are you O-fucking-K?

Wish you were here.

Good Hump Day to you and yours! It is already Oct. 6 and we all know what that means! Just 25 days 'til
Halloween, and my splendid little brown friend had a cool idea to light the menorah for this occasion, and
let it burn for the next 25 days... but I think he said 15 days. I say whatever!

? Did you know that the throne of Ethiopia's Menelik II was actually an electric chair imported from the U.S.?

Thank you all so much for your input for the movie! Now all I need is a title or a plot. I have a crazy clown
and a girl in a straightjacket. What sort of story might this be then? And to add Lust (the little red devilynn)
to the story.... I am unable to come to any sort of conclusion at this time. Perhaps you will enlighten me then,
today.

? Both Hitler and Mussolini were vegetarians.

Exotic Gifts (not to be confused with actual gifts)
#95 Royal Imperial Valium
America's Favorite Tranquilizer-Only Better

We could talk our heads off but we can't say a thing that sounds half as fine as the effects these tranqs will have
on you. So unusual, not one person in a thousand has ever experienced them. That's because your doctor can't
prescribe them and your druggist can't slip them to you under the counter. These egg-sized beauties, weighing in
at 50,000 milligrams each, were made up special for us by the pharmeceutical company that invented them. Each
one is like a little atomic bomb of pleasure. This long-remembered gift makes you long-remembered as a thoughtful,
original gift-giver. In fact, the individual whom you gift with Royal Imperial Valiums will probably hound you for the
rest of your life for more.

Gift # 95 Royal Imperial Valium	$18.95 delivered
Special 50 Royal Imperial Valium in wicker basket	$99.95 delivered

~~Forwards~~ Four Words

drisme, adj. - weather which is both dreary and wet (rainy)

forgue, v. - to gouge or spear with a poisonous instrument

malactive, adj. - evilly busy, up-to-no-good

umdrill, n. - state of bewilderment, darkness

Use them wisely today! Use them in your place of study, work, or what have you. Astonish your family, amaze your
friends! They will think you've been paying attention to such things and may hold you in a higher regard!

Now for some famous last words, the Deathbed Monologues!
? Ludwig van Beethoven "Friends applaud, the comedy is finished."
? Emily Dickinson "I must go in, the fog is rising."
? Oscar Wilde "Either that wallpaper goes, or I do."
? Edgar Allen Poe "Lord help my poor soul."

? The dot over the lowercase "i" is called a "tittle."

Good Day! Let me be the first to tell you how you smell particularly like fudge today!
========================================================

Wednesday, October 6, 2004 9:03 AM CDT
Name: jfkhaos
E-Mail: theghostofjfkhaos@hotmail.com

Lots for me to reply to today headmistress. Love the song you were listening to! I did know
about the throne of Menelik II (say that name out loud..men-uh-lick...eeewww); did you know
that almost 70% of the country's income was used at that coronation? Killer coronation for a
defunct monarchy! As for the plot of your movie...I think Sybil in her straitjacket and the clown
(argh I can't remember his name right now) should terrorize a little girl in her dreams...is that
possible! HA HA HA I know who should get this once they read it.....evil plots.

I hope Hitler and Mussolini are forced to eat meat in hell, the hypocrites....let's protect the animals
but not people.....rubbish.

The movie should take place on a drisme evening.
I think the LDDs should forgue the little girl in her dreams.
It would be a malactive movie.
The little girl could wake up in a state of umdrill.

I'll tittle your taka with the popov. :)

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punksoup says:

you'll dot my "vodka" with a different brand of vodka? clever.

========================================================

Wednesday, October 6, 2004 10:32 PM CDT
Name: taquito
E-Mail: taquito3217@sbcglobal.net

i just got on madam whitey and yes i do so on the way to school was being malactive and i was glad that it was not drisme on the way to school well sorry nothing funny but u look rather spledid this afternoon

adios
-the mexican-

Posted by punksoup at 7:47 AM CDT

Updated: Thursday, 7 October 2004 7:58 AM CDT

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Tuesday, 5 October 2004

Several Uses for A Dead Body
Mood:

don't ask
Now Playing: The Used-Let It Bleed
Topic: Shit House Bricks

We All Float Down Here...

Are we getting comfortable now? Is everyone here? Good. Now that I have your
attention, I just want to say, "Look at me!! See what I can do?" I can blog & chew
gum at the same time. Effortlessly. I haven't tripped once.

Do you think maybe I am giving too much away everyday? Like too many facts
or what have you? If it is overloading your brain, I will cut back on the fact and
add more sugar. If that is what you desire. But today I will give some more odd
facts, things you may have never wanted to know! And not too many facts either,
just enough to make you not hungry anymore.

Elizabethan women drank the urine of puppy dogs to improve their complexions.

The Sioux Chief "Rain in the Face" admitted that after the Battle of Little Big Horn
in 1877 he had cut out General Custer's heart and eaten it. He said he didn't much
like the taste of human flesh - he just wanted revenge.

The Sex Pistols guitartist Steve Jones once admitted ejaculating into a French bread
roll and feeding it to fellow band member Glen Matlock as elvenses.

During the third crusade King Richard I dined on curried head of Saracen.

During widespread food shortages in Cuba in 1994 the cat population fell by 400,000.

In order to demonstrate the cultural inferiority of the United States, ex-Pogues lead
singer Shane MacGowan once ate a Beach Boys album.

Does any of that make you feel any better about yourself? It should! Disturbing, yet so true.

I would like to make another movie, perhaps I will have one ready by the end of the week, so
if you have any suggestions, send them to me and you will receive some sort of credit for having
done so. Remember, I use Living Dead Dolls. Below are the dolls, so make your choice for who
you would like to be in the next one and I shall tally the votes!

Dahlia

Gluttony

Kitty

Lizzie

Louis

Lust

Revenent

Schitzo

Siren

Sybil

That's all folks. Remember, you're good enough, you're smart enough and gosh darn it, people like you!!

========================================================

Tuesday, October 5, 2004 8:53 AM CDT
Name: jfkhaos
E-Mail: theghostofjfkhaos@hotmail.com

Okay, I like to consider myself knowledgable on English history and I have never once read anything
about the Elizabethan women's warm drink of beauty, or Richard I's curried cannibal meal. Where did
this information come from? Not that I don't believe the mistress of the blog...just curious.

I don't think you inundate us with info...at least not for me...and I would personally like to see Sybil
and Schitzo in a movie!

+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
punksoup interjects:

Now, you know that all of my information comes from books lying about the place. The information
contained in todays blog comes from The Little Book of Bad Taste by Karl Shaw ? 2000.
========================================================

Tuesday, 5 October 2004 - 11:15 AM CDT
Name: X
E-Mail: macrae85@hotmail.com

I like drinking warm piss. How do you think I stay so young looking?

Yes, I would like to see Sybil and Schitzo in a love story of evil proportions.

========================================================

Tuesday, 5 October 2004 - 3:05 PM CDT
Name: taquito
E-Mail: taquito3217@sbcglobal.net

i would too like to see schitzo and sybil along with lust in a movie

...second response added only moments later...

forgot to put - the mexican-
========================================================

Wednesday, 6 October 2004 - 5:44 AM CDT
Name: ChristOnASpike
E-Mail: torirocks@msn.com

what are elvenses? Dude, put siren, revenent, and kittie in the movie and you can call it a chick flic.
+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
punksoup with yet another interjection:

Elevenses is like snack time to the Brits. However, the hobbits treat it as a full meal and not a snack at all.

Posted by punksoup at 8:33 AM CDT

Updated: Wednesday, 6 October 2004 8:10 AM CDT

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