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A Fungus Among Us
A Gorge of Candy Whistles
A Side of Blog
A state of alarm or dread
Another Holiday Meal
Apple Oaths of Honor
Are you O-fucking-K?
Artificial Intelligence
Bashing Blog Fronts
Biting the Back of PETA
Blog Water Marinade
Breeding The Disease
Cannibalistic Fascism
Curds, tallow and oats
Digesting the Readers
Double Spades Effect
Enraptured Beef Tallow
Everything In Moderation
Flight of the Fancy Pants
Fruity Pebble Massacre
Gathering Storm Clouds
Grim is the Reaper
High Fact Content
Idiot's Parade
If Wishes Were Horsies
Incoherent Laugh Track
Jumpin' Jeepers!
Just Add Sploosh
Like Peeing in a Pod
No Peanutbutter & Jelly
Pennywise & Poundfoolish
Pleonastic Redundancy
Raise the Fist
Rice in the Lemon Butter
Rich In Fatty Soy
Salt Pork on Wry
Seedless Crass Preserves
Shit House Bricks
Shower Tag
Shun not the blog
Sixtysix Soma Ships
Slap Happy Chap Caps
Soggy Blog Bottom
Spastic Plastic
Spleen and Ideal
Sugar On My Elbows
Tabacco Stained Toe Nails
Tepid Predilection
The Mighty Palimpsest
The Pedantic Opus
The Spider's Bollocks
They eat Mallomars
This aint no tree!
Three on a Spike
Tragic Reverie
Undigestable Candy Corn
Weebles SHOULD fall down
What have you to impart?
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Topical Island Mist
Chew Before Swallowing
Life's little cess·pool
Exercise your eggs
Whey & Mange
Perhaps Had I Not
deja entendu
Monday, 11 October 2004
A Symphonic Dream Sequence of Muttering Popes
Mood:  rushed
Now Playing: Crass-Darling
Topic: Spastic Plastic

With the pricking of my thumb, something wicked this way comes.

Columbus Day? What the hell for? He did not "discover" America. He simply misplaced himself and called
it India then had the privledge of naming this plot. Why does he get so much props? WHY!?! What about the
real history? What about the countless times this place was "discovered" before Columbus? Why can't they
just rewrite the books? It's not like they haven't been rewrting our history books for years now, anyway.
Columbus Day my ass. It's a secondary excuse for teachers, bankers and other forms of nematodes to get
the day off. Not that teachers are nematodes, unless they are, but I wouldn't put them in the "parasite" cate-
gorey just yet.

? All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill. ?

Ok, the MENSA challenge for yesterday was a bit difficult but that was the point! So, here is the answer:

The fact that there were no "e"s in the paragraph was the unusual thing about it since "e" is the
most commonly used letter.

LOSERS.

I think I am out of crap to share today. I have been hammering away at this for 2 ? hours now and I have
nothing of interest to share.

This is where I sit and stare at the monitor until something comes to mind.

PERFECT! Pre-Columbian Menu and other curiousities.

During the lifetimes of ancient folk, tobacco didn't exist in Egypt, cocoa had never been seen in Rome,
and pigs didn't live in Mexico. In fact, many of the plants and animals that cover the globe today weren't
widespread until the voyages of Columbus redrew the ecological map of the world.

Before 1492, no Englishman ever ate corn (they may not eat it now, either, it's food for the pigs!) No Native
American rode a horse. There were no wheat fields waving across the Great Plains, and you could not get
your Italian aunt's recipe for tomato sauce because no one in Italy had ever seen a tomato. There were
no bananas in Gautemala, oranges in Florida nor peaches in Georgia. Nor were there potatoes in England.

Columbus's voyages of discovery created traffic in the Atlantic. Explorers conquistadors, missionaries and
settlers moved back and forth between the New World and the Old, with plants and animals and brought
back what they found in the Americas. They brought the plagues and diseases they left in the New World. Sad
but true. The Native Americans had never experienced disease before the savages of the "white man."

Assimilate that nugget of wisdom and remember who your daddy is!

========================================================
Monday, 11 October 2004 - 4:10 PM CDT
Name: Christonaspike
Home Page: http://groups.msn.com/TheNeedleInMyEye
E-Mail: Torirocks@msn.com

Dude that whole $5 thing, I just discovered that the other day when I was bored, and I agree, this Columbus
Day thing is stupid. Kill all the white man!

========================================================
Monday, October 11, 2004 8:19 PM CDT
Name: taquito
E-Mail: taquito3217@sbcglobal.net

nice blog today not the usual informative one but a good one none the less well avoir (bye)
-the mexican-


Posted by punksoup at 10:45 AM CDT
Updated: Tuesday, 12 October 2004 9:12 AM CDT
Sunday, 10 October 2004
Ascetic Existence of Incessant Persistence
Now Playing: Siouxsie & The Banshees-Overground
Topic: Pleonastic Redundancy

Much more than this, I did it my way...

Tomorrow brings the [26th] anniversary of the last night Sid and Nancy would spend together. Some say
she was murdered by Sid, I say she had a death wish and begged for her demise. To each their own, right?
After all, he loved her more than heroin.

Hi, hello, how are you this morning/day/afternoon? All is quite right as rain here. I slept a bit later than usual,
found my coffee to be patiently waiting for me when I woke and didn't feel 62 years old! That's an awesome
bonus for me! The weather is, once again, as perfect as can be expected for October in TX, not hot, no sun,
the absence of summer is alright to me!

? Seven suicides are recorded in the Bible. ?

I must give you something interesting to ponder for today. I know, let's cover a few superstitions.

  • It is bad luck to light three cigarettes with the same match. "Three on a match, that's a goocher!"
  • If you have 13 letters in your name, you will have the devil's luck . Jack the Ripper, Charles Manson,
    Jeffrey Dahmer, Theodore Bundy and Albert De Salvo all have 13 letters in their names. (I do too!)
  • If a mirror in the house falls and breaks by itself, someone in the house will die soon.
  • If you bite your tongue while eating, it is because you have recently told a lie.
  • If you use the same pencil to take a test that you used for studying for the test, the pencil will remember
    the answers.

? Attila the Hun bled to death from a nosebleed on his wedding night in 453 AD. ?

Maybe I should challenge you to a duel! Yes, yes. That is a mighty fine idea. Contemplate and submit your answer!

My quiz for this day is most unusual. As is this paragraph. What is so unusual about it? If you look hard, you
should find what it is without too much difficulty. Try hard to spot it. How long did you think about it?

That one is not so easy, but you may figure it out quicker than you thought. Have fun with it and don't let it drive you
to insanity.

? Beethoven's last symphony was his 9th. ?

Were you able to watch the video I posted yesterday? If you have a comment on it, please share it! The interview before
the video was quite informative as the irony lies therein. If you have not watched it, scroll down to yesterday's entry and
please do watch it. Even if you do like that type of music, it is sure to offer something to think about. Honest.

The 100% American is 99% idiot.
- George Bernard Shaw
========================================================
Sunday, October 10, 2004 6:02 PM CDT
Name: taquito
E-Mail: taquito3217@sbcglobal.net

i liked the imagine video it makes u think and i liked the words at the bottom of the screen well good day

========================================================
Name: Christonaspike
Home Page: http://groups.msn.com/TheNeedleInMyEye
E-Mail: Torirocks@msn.com

Dude if that pencil superstition is real, then I threw down on those SAT's, I'll get like a 1400, lol. ok I think
Nancy was begging for it.

That is how Attila dide, after that whole big warrior story, he fucking died from a nose bleed?

umm, well you should have said "even if you do NOT like that type of music." I can't watch anyways *cries*

ok ok, challenge: ummm, you have a fragment.

========================================================
Monday, October 11, 2004 8:15 PM CDT
Name: taquito
E-Mail: taquito3217@sbcglobal.net

well i'm replying and today is monday so yea well i worked on sunday and i went to the movies and i don't
know wat i'm going to be for halloween and i didn't know i smelled like peanut butter but i'll take that as a
compliment even if it wasn't well adios and i know i look hip and fashionable well adios
-the mexican-


Posted by punksoup at 11:00 AM CDT
Updated: Tuesday, 12 October 2004 9:07 AM CDT
Saturday, 9 October 2004
A Libelous Tale of Futility
Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: William Shatner-Common People (Because Cpt. Kirk Rocks!)
Topic: Slap Happy Chap Caps

What you got back home little sister to play your fuzzy warbles on?

Alright... I think before I get my greetings and salutations out of the way this morning, I need to address the
MENSA stumper from yesterday. If you clearly read the paragraph leading up to the question, you would see
that it is a "slightly jumbled version of a nursery rhyme," which means perhaps it is not going to read the way
you remember it being taught to you and it is up to you to replace the vowels and separate the words accord-
ingly. I will give you the answer further into the entry. For now I have mingling to do.

Saturday... yes, a most lovely day for most people, unless everyday is the same and the only difference be-
tween any day is night time. But we can treat this as being a perfect day for all of us. It is quite drisme out-
side today but the temperature is still unknown to me for I have not set foot out of the door yet. Soon, though.

? The name Wendy was made up for the book "Peter Pan." ?

The movie we had discussed making is somewhat in the works. My little kiddo is making one and I am thinking
about acquiring some footage from, since I would like it to be a bit longer than one minute twenty eight seconds.
I do have a major problem with dialogue, so it may take another week for me to complete the creative process.

And now for Bizarre Celebrity Suicides:

  • Clara Blandick - actress (Auntie Em in The Wizard of Oz)
    1962-Sleeping pills, with a plastic bag tied over her head. She was 81-years-old and suffering from
    crippling arthritis.

  • Chris Chubbuck - newscaster
    1974-Shot herself in the head during a prime time news broadcast on Florida TV station WXLT-TV.
    She died 14 hours later.

  • Yukio Mishima (Kimitake Hiraoka) - Japanese writer
    1970-Suicide by disembowelment and decapitation (a ritual called seppuku or hara-kiri) as a protest
    of the Westernization of Japan. He killed himself in front of an assembly (which he himself called) of all
    of his students that he was teaching at a university at that time.

You may find this a bit entertaining. So, I will just come out with it and share this instant! So begins my quip of
delight. Random quotes from people we know exist, or maybe we don't... put that quote at the bottom, please.

"I have opinions of my own - strong opinions - but I don't always agree with them."
- George Bush (the elder)

"It's time for the human race to enter the solar system!"
- Dan Quayle, on the concept of a manned mission to Mars

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
- Brooke Shields

"My fellow Americans. I've signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes."
- President Reagan, before a scheduled radio broadcast, unaware that the microphone was already on

"Things are more like they are now than they have ever been."
- President Gerald Ford

"We are not without accomplishment. We have managed to distribute poverty equally."
- Nguyen Co Thatch, Vietnamese foreign minister

"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC instructor

I think every one of those quotes deserves a big, fat DUH, DUH frickity DUH!!!

? Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite. ?


This video is very interesting and it was forwarded to me yesterday. Please, if you have the capability to view
this, take five minutes and watch it. It will make you think. Brought to you courtesy of Maynard J. Keenan.

MENSA answer: JACK BE NIMBLE, JACK BE QUICK, FOR THE LIGHT JUST CHANGED AND THE ROAD IS SLICK.
Don't feel so bad, only 65% of the MENSA members who answered this question were correct.

This concludes today's broadcast.

========================================================
Saturday, October 9, 2004 2:22 PM CDT
Name: ChristOnASpike
E-Mail: torirocks@msn.com

Speak for yourself, I had SAT's damnit, Saturday not pleasant, yet brainwracking. OMG last night on
the debate Bush made up like two more words, but I can't remember what they were, I do remember
laughing at him though, lol. "for the light just changed and the road is slick"? WTF?!? Well, at least I got
the first part right.

========================================================
Saturday, October 9, 2004 5:01 PM CDT
Name: jfkhaos
E-Mail: theghostofjfkhaos@hotmail.com

...so not much brain power out there today but I am sure some of you need a rest...as for Auntie Em...
what a terrible way to go...did she chant over and over again, "There's no place like home...there's no
place like home...and then all the color faded from her technicolor world and faded to black. Terrible
terrible terrible...."Dorothy, the tornadoes coming and I am suffocating!"


Posted by punksoup at 9:34 AM CDT
Updated: Sunday, 10 October 2004 11:15 AM CDT
Friday, 8 October 2004
Abashed The Devil Stood
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: VNV Nation-Serial Killer
Topic: A Fungus Among Us

Evil is an exact science.

As you could see by the pictures, we are living in what seems to be a gruesome crime scene.
I have been asked how we are able to get away with this. Well, thus far, it has not been brought
to my attention that it needs to be removed. I am hoping it is permitted to remain through the
holiday, which is the reason it exists to begin with. Fake blood, chalk and some easy do-it-yourself
signs make it all possible. Did I mention the decrepit looking victim poised in a metal chair at the
door?

Maggie the Dead

It never occured to me that TGIF really meant Thank Gandolf it's Frodo! Afterall, he did save
Middle Earth and Gandolf did find him. So, yes, TGIF! And not too soon, no!

I slept late this morning. The pain of waking made slumber so much more attractive. I do feel
refreshed and ready to kill this day! But to be fair, the first thing I read this morning was an
email with a link to ananova.com with an artical on Avril Lavign (gag) who wants so much to
play Courtney Love in an upcoming movie because, "[She] is really nice and a great mom. It
would be an honor to play her." OK, I don't know if this pseudo-rock girl has been living in a
cave somewhere deep in the isolated confines of Canada for the past 13 years, (shit, strike
that that alone makes her ignorant) but I know damn well that Ms. Love is a terrible mother
who doesn't have her kid, has a nasty drug addiction and will throw down at any moment to
fight someone. She is a horrible example of a human & furthermore, nothing that a mother of
a teenage daughter should be. I guess I would be suicidal, too if I had to put up with that, but
I know she had her hand in on the demise of Se?ior Cobain. ANYWAY... politics.

? It was the Celts, not the Druids, who built Stonehenge. ?

Let's not try to get the blogger started so early in the morning with such ferocious subjects.
I had wonderful plans for this days entry and now I am just livid... allow me to cool off while
you all enjoy this:

3? Not-So-Victorian Things About Queen Victoria

1. She was a lousy parent. She loved sex but did not like that it led to babies, who she once
called "nasty objects."
2. She was a stalking victim. "The Boy Jones," as he was known, young Edward Jones first
broke into Buckingham when he was 15, remained for three days, going through the royal
kitchen personal effects of the Queen.
3. She was kicky. In her earlier years, she loved to gamble, drink and could get a bit rowdy.
3?. Her name is a byword for eroticism. By the time she died in 1901, she's been around so
long that everyone thought she was wonderful and wonderfully proper. So why is it that the
most common name in the history of Playboy Playmates? is Victoria - more poplular than Kim,
Cindy or Jenny?

? In 1659, England fined people 5 shillings if they were caught celebrating Christmas. ?

MENSA for your enquiring mind. There are only two commonly used English words from which
one could make from DRIBA. RABID and BRAID. However, I did see BAIRD which is a common
last name. Kuddos to you! Now, use your PUNKY POWER! This one is gonna be hard!

This slightly jumbled version of a nursery rhyme has had all of its vowels removed (ha ha, it's
been disenvoweled!) and the words have been broken up or down into groups of three letters
each. Replace the vowels to decipher the sentence.

JCK BNM BLJ CKB QCK FRT HLG HTJ STC HNG DND THR DSS LCK.

Good Luck!

Perhaps you don't smell like roast beef today and maybe it's Cheetos?. Whatever the case may
be, you must know that you look most terrific in your polyester golf pants and oh so chic butterfly
collar shirt with 50% polyester 50% spandex blend for a nice close fit, taylored after the infamous
wardrobe of the former Mike Brady.

Have an awesome day and blog on!

========================================================
Friday, October 8, 2004 12:00 PM CDT
Name: jfkhaos
E-Mail: theghostofjfkhaos@hotmail.com

Okay so with the proxy error ruining the party, I cannot see the pics that are on the blog, only "hosted by Tripod"
images, so I have lucked out today.  I hope I didn't make the Blogmistress' morning to bad with the ananova.com
link I sent....

To be fair to be Queen Victoria, she did hate babies...not the babies per se but the way babies looked, "like little frogs".
She resented childbirth and called it the "shadow side of marriage" and made her feel "like a cow".  To some of her nine
children she was an excellent parent...to others she was selfish and rude, especially after the death of her husband.

The only part of the rhyme I can get is "Jack be nimble, Jack be quick" I thought the rest of the rhyme was "Jack jumped
over a candlestick" so I guess my daycare was not correct.

Can I smell like flamin hot cheetos...and how did you know I was wearing that today!?!?!?!

========================================================
Friday, October 8, 2004 4:20 PM CDT
Name: ChristOnASpike
E-Mail: torirocks@msn.com

JACK BE NIMBLE JACK BE QUICK FROTH LOG HIT J STC HANGED AND THREADS SLICK.   gah I give up!!
Gott sei dank, Heute is Fritag, aber ich muss jetzt fur SATs studieren.

+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
punksoup says:
Gott sei dank, Heute is Fritag, aber ich muss jetzt fur SATs studieren.
God is owing to, today is Friday, but I must study for SATs now.


Posted by punksoup at 10:48 AM CDT
Updated: Saturday, 9 October 2004 9:58 AM CDT
Thursday, 7 October 2004
The Dubious Galoot of Ill Repute
Mood:  cheeky
Now Playing: Edward Ka-Spel - God In A Cupboard
Topic: Sugar On My Elbows

Pat, Pat where's your hat?

Thursday, October 7, 04 - In our little town, today is a half day at school. Which means I may
not have a new movie made and posted by tomorrow, but I will try my very best. I do have a
pretty good idea now of what the plot shall be and I do not write dialogue so it may be another
black and white silent film with music as before. I would also like for it to be at least three min-
utes in length. That's a lot of stop motion action and a lot of footage. It should be fine. We'll see
what happens.

I decorated the outside of my apartment yesterday. I made it look like a crime scene more than
anything else. Going for that haunted, spooky feel, it turned into a murderous rapture of imbrued
contrivance.

The pics are linked to their full size image if you really want to see it that bad! Bloody wicked!

OK, a little mental challenge because I have faith that you can do this:

  • How many common English words can you make from the letters DRIBA? Use all the
    letters each time you make a new word.

That should be relatively easy for you. PLEASE at least try to get ONE stupid word!

Now for some facts whether you like it or not.

  • Shakespeare invented the words "assassination" and "bump."
  • If you keep a Goldfish in the dark room, it will eventually turn white.
  • The average human eats 8 spiders in their lifetime at night. (ok this could be bullshit!)
  • All of the clocks in the movie Pulp Fiction are stuck at 4:20.
  • The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896. Zanzibar surren-
    dered after 38 minutes.
  • Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.
  • Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.
  • One of the reasons marijuana is illegal today is because cotton growers in the 30's lobbied
    against hemp farmers, they saw it as competition.
  • The United States paid Russia just 2? per acre for Alaska.

I think that is all I have for you today. Have a most awesome day and remember one thing: You may
not look so great but the scent of roast beef wafting from your skin makes all of the little kitties love
you!
========================================================
Thursday, October 7, 2004 8:02 AM CDT
Name: jfkhaos
E-Mail: theghostofjfkhaos@hotmail.com

A lot of people say "What's that?" "That's Pat!"

The apartment pictures turned out rather nicely, little nettle. I think it would be nice to
see a goldfish turn white without light...but then it would probably die and not smell to
good,and the red water would flow. As for the spiders, we all need our protein, and I
laughed so hard about the injection of nutmeg. Who would be so stupid as to do that.
oh wait, we know someone like that! I also laughed most heartily at the roast beef
comment...I personally like to take day old roast beef and place it under my arms so
little doggies and kitties will be my friends.

DRIBA: braid
baird (Mrs Baird)

========================================================
Thursday, October 7, 2004 12:12 PM CDT
Name: taquito
E-Mail: taquito3217@sbcglobal.net

i see u have a crime scene in front of ur house nowadays and not the bloody mess u maybe wanted
the words from driba : braid and i'll think of more later

========================================================
Thursday, October 7, 2004 4:59 PM CDT
Name: ChristOnASpike
E-Mail: torirocks@msn.com

ewww, i don't want to smell like roast beef! Dude look up, ITS PAT!! shim is ugly. That is cool, how did
you get away with making the outside of your apartment look like that?

DRIBA ummmm
braid
rabid


Posted by punksoup at 7:47 AM CDT
Updated: Saturday, 9 October 2004 9:50 AM CDT
Wednesday, 6 October 2004
An Impalpable Emanation of a Noxious Idea
Mood:  silly
Now Playing: Death In June-Rose Clouds of Holocaust
Topic: Are you O-fucking-K?

Wish you were here.

Good Hump Day to you and yours! It is already Oct. 6 and we all know what that means! Just 25 days 'til
Halloween, and my splendid little brown friend had a cool idea to light the menorah for this occasion, and
let it burn for the next 25 days... but I think he said 15 days. I say whatever!

? Did you know that the throne of Ethiopia's Menelik II was actually an electric chair imported from the U.S.?

Thank you all so much for your input for the movie! Now all I need is a title or a plot. I have a crazy clown
and a girl in a straightjacket. What sort of story might this be then? And to add Lust (the little red devilynn)
to the story.... I am unable to come to any sort of conclusion at this time. Perhaps you will enlighten me then,
today.

? Both Hitler and Mussolini were vegetarians.

Exotic Gifts (not to be confused with actual gifts)
#95 Royal Imperial Valium
America's Favorite Tranquilizer-Only Better

We could talk our heads off but we can't say a thing that sounds half as fine as the effects these tranqs will have
on you. So unusual, not one person in a thousand has ever experienced them. That's because your doctor can't
prescribe them and your druggist can't slip them to you under the counter. These egg-sized beauties, weighing in
at 50,000 milligrams each, were made up special for us by the pharmeceutical company that invented them. Each
one is like a little atomic bomb of pleasure. This long-remembered gift makes you long-remembered as a thoughtful,
original gift-giver. In fact, the individual whom you gift with Royal Imperial Valiums will probably hound you for the
rest of your life for more.

Gift # 95 Royal Imperial Valium $18.95 delivered
Special 50 Royal Imperial Valium in wicker basket $99.95 delivered

Forwards Four Words

  • drisme, adj. - weather which is both dreary and wet (rainy)
  • forgue, v. - to gouge or spear with a poisonous instrument
  • malactive, adj. - evilly busy, up-to-no-good
  • umdrill, n. - state of bewilderment, darkness

Use them wisely today! Use them in your place of study, work, or what have you. Astonish your family, amaze your
friends! They will think you've been paying attention to such things and may hold you in a higher regard!

Now for some famous last words, the Deathbed Monologues!
? Ludwig van Beethoven "Friends applaud, the comedy is finished."
? Emily Dickinson "I must go in, the fog is rising."
? Oscar Wilde "Either that wallpaper goes, or I do."
? Edgar Allen Poe "Lord help my poor soul."

? The dot over the lowercase "i" is called a "tittle."

Good Day! Let me be the first to tell you how you smell particularly like fudge today!
========================================================

Wednesday, October 6, 2004 9:03 AM CDT
Name: jfkhaos
E-Mail: theghostofjfkhaos@hotmail.com

Lots for me to reply to today headmistress. Love the song you were listening to! I did know
about the throne of Menelik II (say that name out loud..men-uh-lick...eeewww); did you know
that almost 70% of the country's income was used at that coronation? Killer coronation for a
defunct monarchy! As for the plot of your movie...I think Sybil in her straitjacket and the clown
(argh I can't remember his name right now) should terrorize a little girl in her dreams...is that
possible! HA HA HA I know who should get this once they read it.....evil plots.

I hope Hitler and Mussolini are forced to eat meat in hell, the hypocrites....let's protect the animals
but not people.....rubbish.

The movie should take place on a drisme evening.
I think the LDDs should forgue the little girl in her dreams.
It would be a malactive movie.
The little girl could wake up in a state of umdrill.

I'll tittle your taka with the popov. :)


+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
punksoup says:

you'll dot my "vodka" with a different brand of vodka? clever.

========================================================

Wednesday, October 6, 2004 10:32 PM CDT
Name: taquito
E-Mail: taquito3217@sbcglobal.net

i just got on madam whitey and yes i do so on the way to school was being malactive and i was glad that it was not drisme on the way to school well sorry nothing funny but u look rather spledid this afternoon

adios
-the mexican-

Posted by punksoup at 7:47 AM CDT
Updated: Thursday, 7 October 2004 7:58 AM CDT
Tuesday, 5 October 2004
Several Uses for A Dead Body
Mood:  don't ask
Now Playing: The Used-Let It Bleed
Topic: Shit House Bricks

We All Float Down Here...

Are we getting comfortable now? Is everyone here? Good. Now that I have your
attention, I just want to say, "Look at me!! See what I can do?" I can blog & chew
gum at the same time. Effortlessly. I haven't tripped once.

Do you think maybe I am giving too much away everyday? Like too many facts
or what have you? If it is overloading your brain, I will cut back on the fact and
add more sugar. If that is what you desire. But today I will give some more odd
facts, things you may have never wanted to know! And not too many facts either,
just enough to make you not hungry anymore.

Does any of that make you feel any better about yourself? It should! Disturbing, yet so true.

I would like to make another movie, perhaps I will have one ready by the end of the week, so
if you have any suggestions, send them to me and you will receive some sort of credit for having
done so. Remember, I use Living Dead Dolls. Below are the dolls, so make your choice for who
you would like to be in the next one and I shall tally the votes!


Cookie
Dahlia
Gluttony
Kitty
Lizzie

Louis
Lust
Revenent
Schitzo
Siren

Sybil

That's all folks. Remember, you're good enough, you're smart enough and gosh darn it, people like you!!

========================================================

Tuesday, October 5, 2004 8:53 AM CDT
Name: jfkhaos
E-Mail: theghostofjfkhaos@hotmail.com

Okay, I like to consider myself knowledgable on English history and I have never once read anything
about the Elizabethan women's warm drink of beauty, or Richard I's curried cannibal meal. Where did
this information come from? Not that I don't believe the mistress of the blog...just curious.

I don't think you inundate us with info...at least not for me...and I would personally like to see Sybil
and Schitzo in a movie!

+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
punksoup interjects:

Now, you know that all of my information comes from books lying about the place. The information
contained in todays blog comes from The Little Book of Bad Taste by Karl Shaw ? 2000.
========================================================

Tuesday, 5 October 2004 - 11:15 AM CDT
Name: X
E-Mail: macrae85@hotmail.com

 I like drinking warm piss. How do you think I stay so young looking?

Yes, I would like to see Sybil and Schitzo in a love story of evil proportions.

========================================================

Tuesday, 5 October 2004 - 3:05 PM CDT
Name: taquito
E-Mail: taquito3217@sbcglobal.net

i would too like to see schitzo and sybil along with lust in a movie

...second response added only moments later...

forgot to put - the mexican-
========================================================

Wednesday, 6 October 2004 - 5:44 AM CDT
Name: ChristOnASpike
E-Mail: torirocks@msn.com

what are elvenses? Dude, put siren, revenent, and kittie in the movie and you can call it a chick flic.
+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
punksoup with yet another interjection:

Elevenses is like snack time to the Brits. However, the hobbits treat it as a full meal and not a snack at all.

Posted by punksoup at 8:33 AM CDT
Updated: Wednesday, 6 October 2004 8:10 AM CDT
Monday, 4 October 2004
A Farcical Malady of Flapdoodle
Mood:  rushed
Now Playing: The Tear Garden-Valium
Topic: What have you to impart?

I have recreated this ancient Chinese secret sauce!

Would you like to know what really sucks? I think I am inviting the wrong people to come here.
Sure, some of you stop by, but the majority of (oh, yes, my favorite endearment) fuck-alls who
are asked to enlighten themselves on a daily basis (who probably need it) just sit and say nothing.
N O T H I N G . . . So, if after today you do not get a link to this bliggitiy blog blog, consider your-
self free of my torment.

Please excuse my churlishness. Ignorance is bliss, you know.

Riddled by yesterday's subject? Here are the answers to the foreboding questions. Please remember
that the mind and sense of humor did not work the same way then as they do now and you may not
find them funny:

  • The riddle that stumped Homer:What did the fishermen keep? Lice, which they already had.
  • The Babylonian riddle: The thing that "becomes fat without eating" is a rain cloud.
  • The Biblical riddle: The answer to Samson's set-up question is 'honey out of a lion.'

Every one of these words/terms/phrases were born of the Koren war:

  • police action
  • airstrike
  • chopper
  • buy the farm
  • M.A.S.H.
  • hooch
  • brainwashing

Cease and Desist

The joys of the telemarketer, calling with their inquisitive dialogue. Here are some highly effective
measures to terminate the call:

  • Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a Telemarketer, set the receiver down, scream,
    "Oh my God!" and then hang up.
  • Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times
  • Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on, Leon, cut it out!
    Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"
  • Cry out in surprise, "Judy? Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully,
    this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where she could
    know you from.
  • If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out goat blood?
    How about human blood?"

Ok, so the vocabulary is not intended for use in your response. It's just interesting that they were coined
during that period of time. All of this was really for nothing today. Have a great day, and might I add that
you look splendid?

========================================================
Monday, October 4, 2004 3:07 PM CDT
Name: the mexican
E-Mail: taquito3217@sbcglobal.net

so wat do the words " i am a rude bitch " have to do with todays blog - the mexican -

========================================================

Monday, October 4, 2004 4:54 PM CDT
Name: jfkhaos
E-Mail: theghostofjfkhaos@hotmail.com

I don't know that I got an email this morning so I thought to respond before I am cut
off from blog citizenship....and all the fuck-alls know who they are.....I for one did not
know those words came from the conflict known as the Korean War.......and I personally
love to catch telemarketers off guard....I life to give them all of my information and tell
them to call back and then tell them I DIED....or that I can't make that decision for the
account holder....and they left abt 2 weeks ago and have not come back yet....but the
goat blood is classic!

========================================================

Monday, October 4, 2004 5:54 PM CDT
Name: christonaspike
Home Page: http://groups.msn.com/TheNeedleInMyEye
E-Mail: Torirocks@msn.com

LMFAO HOOCH!?!? haha  OOH OOOH, for the phone people act like you speak German, or
start telling them about your problems (made up and dramatic) and crying.  Might I say that
I have much adulation for you keeping this blog up! 


Posted by punksoup at 8:28 AM CDT
Updated: Tuesday, 5 October 2004 8:51 AM CDT
Sunday, 3 October 2004
A Supplimentary Inquest of Enlightenment
Mood:  surprised
Now Playing: Magnetic Fields-Meaningless
Topic: They eat Mallomars

You are here.

Dreary, glooming day #2. What sort of luck is that? Noooo sir, I love it. If it were a scoatch less
humid outside, it would be 'un ciel merveilleux de misere.' Oooh la la, francais!

What are "whippet bitches?" It sounded so funny that I actually took the time to find out and here
are the results of that search!

The Whippet was developed at the end of the 19th century through crossing among the
Greyhound, the Italian Greyhound, and the Terrier. Its name derives from the expression
"whip it" meaning to move quickly. The Whippet looks like a small greyhound.

Who cares about that, right? Well, something even more interesting is this: (Satisfied Curiousity.)

Frederick the Great, who never slept with his wife, was rumored in later years to have been
romantically attached to his pack of Italian whippet bitches.

Have you ever noticed that when I have person listed in my blog that their name links to their history
on wikipedia.com? It's true. I even have words linked to dictionary enteries so that you are all able to
thoroughly condition yourselves for your clever response!

The Rennaisance Festival has begun! It opened for the season yesterday. I cannot wait to go. It is the
best thing about TX. Check out that link and see for yourself.

Some very interesting facts to be absorbed by the reader like an underwater sea sponge.

  • In 1892, Italy raised the minimun age for marriage to girls to 12 years old.
  • During WWII, Germany offered Arizona, New Mexico and Texas to Mexico
    to change sides.
  • In 1962, Josef Goebbels demanded that Hitler be expelled from the Nazi Party.
  • Ho Chi Minh was once a pastry chef for the Ritz-Carlton in NYC and a photo
    retoucher in Paris.
  • Technically the first American president was John Hanson of Maryland.

Riddle me this...

  • The riddle that stumped Homer, spoken by Greek fishermen, drove him to suicide and goes like
    this: "What we caught we threw away; What we didn't catch, we kept."
  • The Babylonians believed that riddles could teach and were preserved on clay tablets that probably
    served as a schoolbook and one of the oldest is this: "What becomes pregnant without conceiving,
    Who becomes fat without eating?"
  • A riddle from the bible, found in Jacob 14:12-20, talks about Samson's seven-day wedding feast/
    bachelor party and offered rewards to those who could answer, but demanded the same rewards
    for himself if they failed. The riddle is: "Out of the eater came something to eat; Out of the strong
    came something sweet."
  • A riddle with no answer appears in the Islamic Koran (as well as other writings) and were refered to
    as "koans" - such as, "What is the sound of one hand clapping?" - There is no logical answer, it is only
    meant to open your mind.

I will provide you with the answers to these riddles in tomorrow's entry.

========================================================

Sunday, October 3, 2004 11:26 AM CDT
Name: christonaspike
Home Page: http://groups.msn.com/TheNeedleInMyEye
E-Mail: Torirocks@msn.com

I think homer needed something better to do with his time. LMAO ot would so funny
if hitler got kicked out of the Nazi Party, lmao!


Posted by punksoup at 10:37 AM CDT
Updated: Tuesday, 5 October 2004 8:52 AM CDT
Saturday, 2 October 2004
The Effluent Atramentous Melange
Mood:  silly
Now Playing: Swans-Like a Drug
Topic: A Gorge of Candy Whistles

Perhaps Looking-glass milk isn't good to drink.

Am I puttering out? It seems like it takes me forever to collect and gather decent content
for my daily entry. And I don't use anything online. No. I don't cheat. I use books and my
? brain. It is a half brain in the morning.

But I shalln't look any further... I have found former jobs of famous (or infamous) people:

10 Former Occupations:

May I add that you look particularly lovely today? Well, you do. Go look in the mirror and
you will see what I mean. You just got up, you say? You could have fooled me. I think you
look marvelous!

It's 9:29 am here in TX and it is dark. The thunder is a-rollin'. It promises to be a great day.
The humidity is the only thing that could ruin a day like this. And it probably wil, being TX &
all. Geez, just another reminder that I so hate this place. Even the confines of my little world
aren't enough to make me forget that I am where I am... I won't go on. It is pointless, and
furthermore I can do nothing to change it, so what's the use in bitching, right?

You've actually made it this far? Damn. You deserve a prize for that! How about some Chuck
E. Cheese tokens? Or maybe something even more useless like a feather mop? A mud bucket?
No, I know... how about a 100% cruelty-free tofu flavored cardboard box for that late morning
snack? The choice is yours, my friend.

Go out and begin your day now with a nefarious smile lying about your face, you know you're
up to something, like no-good!

========================================================
Saturday, 02 October 2004 - 6:59 PM CDT
Name: the mexican
E-Mail: taquito3217@sbcglobal.net

how did one of hitlers most trusted soldiers (heinrich himmler) go from being a clerk in an agricultural store to being
a man known for the murder of millions  of jews

========================================================

Saturday, 02 October 2004 - 7:13 PM CDT
Name: jfkhaos
E-Mail: theghostofjfkhaos@hotmail.com

Do you see the ironies in this there story?  Genghis Khan conquered a majority of a continent where one of the
main industries now is goatherding? Did Nostradamus prophesize all of the assorted varities of jam we now have?
Did Al Capone sell piano boxes for bodies before he needed them himself? In all probability, Goebbels worked
somewhere where Jews were employed. Himmler shoveled shit (ha ha ha) and turned into a prime grade A-1 shit!
Lenin was a lawyer, and therefore changed the law to serve him and not the people. Stalin led the erasure of religion
in Russia that is now only starting to come back. Don't know the family Kray, I must say. Pol Pot led a brutal regime
contradictory to all ideology of his religion. If Gerald Ford was the model, why was his wife the one who turned to
drugs (yeah Betty, we all know you swilled rubbing alcohol!)

And now I bid my fond adieu....


Posted by punksoup at 9:45 AM CDT
Updated: Sunday, 3 October 2004 8:45 AM CDT

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